dreams

electricity's picture

I keep having dreams that I am 1) coming out to people or 2) seeing other girls [that I know] kiss or kissing them.

I remember having a dream where I came out to two of my friends, one of which I'm close to, one of which is ehh... kind of a bitch. The one that's kind of a bitch kind of tricked me into it, asking me if I liked a girl and I said yes, I'm gay, etc. Maybe not so brief. She didn't talk to me the rest of the dream. Then I told the other and she was shocked, and asked "are you sure?" and I got angry and ran away. She came after me and tried to talk to me [that's how she is. Problem is, she always try to make the situation sympathetic towards her, and I think I thought she was doing that] and I got angry and left her again, which was unecessary.

That one is vivid, others are a little hazy. But I know I've come out in several. Whether to people I know or strangers, it seems my being gay comes up a lot in my dreams. I think it's because I'm not completely and fully out to everyone. It's like I'm subconsciously desperate to be out.

In another I had the other night one of my friends [who is absolutely straight, no gay vibes what-so-ever] was sitting on some steps in front of a girl that sits in front of me in English [also very straight]. She was turned around and not talking to the other girl, but trying to lean in, slightly open-mouthed. Other girl looked sort of pissed and turned a little, but then straightened out and they started kissing. Fairly intimately, too. Friend girl is pretty innocent and won't kiss anyone she doesn't like, but talking to her later in the dream she said "Oh, it was just for fun" etc. WTF. Why "have fun" with a girl that doesn't even look happy ahead of time.

Last night in my dream I kissed another one of my friends that is absolutely straight. [I've had several dreams where I'm kissing girls, but I can't even remember who I kissed in them. It's because I'm dying to know what it's like]. It was one of those "just for fun" things, and I remember her laughing and just diving in for it. It was so vivid it I could feel her mouth and tongue, and everything about the kiss. You know that feeling when you're dreaming? I also remember placing my left hand on her head just behind her ear. I think I remember that as well as the kiss because it was when I said to myself "My god, this is wierd. She would never kiss a girl..." It was a playful kiss, not intimate. It felt like it was just for fun.

In general, I believe my mind is just reflecting my want to be openly gay and be with a girl through my dreams. My homosexuality hasn't been put into much action in reality, so it bursts in my dreams.

Comments

joemondragon's picture

I'll have dreams like that

I'll have dreams like that every now and then, but not every night. If you really want to be out, and if you don't think your parents would throw you out, why not come out? It may help with these dreams, assuming you want to get rid of them ;-).

electricity's picture

I'm out to 3 of my best

I'm out to 3 of my best friend and my mom. So I'm not closeted. And I don't mind the dreams at all. I just think that subconsciously I feel the need to be more open than I am right now.

sam16's picture

I have similar

I have similar feelings...and have had similarly themed dreams (except the friends I were kissing weren't doing it "just for fun"--more wishful thinking on my part). I'm in the same situation as you--two friends and my family know, but I would like to be more open than I am and do not mind the idea of dating at all :-). At least for me, I kind of enjoy the dreams that I have because they are kind of what I wish I could be doing.

It seems you've probably made an accurate assessment

electricity's picture

dreams=good

Yeah, hell I'm more than happy to have these dreams... if I'm not having it in reality it's at least nice to have it in dreams, right?

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

Last night I dreamt that all

Last night I dreamt that all my eyelashes fell out...
I cried because I couldn't put on mascara or something.

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electricity's picture

hahah

Ahahahah, that is the best response this entry will ever get.

And that'd be unfortunate. I know of a girl who pulled them all out. She's a freak.