help :| coming out.

tayz's picture

Okay. So.
I've been meaning to come out to my parents, or at least my dad, for some time now.

My dad's really liberal. And he's had gay friends and he's not homophobic at all.
My mum's the opposite but I don't really want to go there.

I always wear a rainbow badge or necklace, and I've got a rainbow belt and I went to the Sydney Mardi Gras earlier this year (but it was for my friends birthday with her parents, whatever)
So I think they MUST have at least considered the possibility by now.

I just really want my dad to know. We're not like, super close but we can talk and have debates about random stuff and we get along most of the time. He's my closest ally in my house+family basically.

I was thinking of doing it in straight forward kind of way. Like:
Me: Dad. What would you say if I was gay?
Dad: [insert something here, i have NO idea what]
Me: Hokay. Cause I am.

Or something like that. lol.
Only problem is. It's suddenly not a good time ><
With a girlfriend now and all.
And I know if I tell him, both him and my mum will probably put a huge crackdown on what I do.
Because instead of only having to worry about boys houses (They've only met say, three of my guy-friends and I never asked to stay at their houses) They now have to worry about me having crazy lesbian sex at my friend's houses :|

I don't know. I could wait till it's a more ideal time I guess.
I just don't want him to like, become really strict because of it, and be really suspicious of me and T because we havn't even been dating a week and yeah. It'd really suck of something went bad there.

And me and T... we don't exactly go about trying to be completely unsuspicious.
My brother drove T home on friday night and it was semi-dark in the car, so T and i were holding hands in the back seat and I think my brother saw.
Then again, he's seen me drunkenly sprawled ontop of her on the couch while we were watching the Ring one time. It looked sus, i bet.

So what do you guys think? I really need advice on this.
Should I come out to him now? Or leave it to a better time?
Plus... If I said gay he'd take that as being lesbian.
Which I don't think I am. I just find girls so much more...attractive.
But there's say, one or two boys that I'd probably consider but ehh.
I'm like. Pansexual, Or whateversexual, Or just plain queer!.

Help? ><


Toph's picture

I just came out to my mom

I just came out to my mom and my younger brother, and older brother #2 in the last few days. I came out to older brother #1 a few months ago. My dad still doesn't know (unless my mom has told him but he hasn't said anything). All of them think I'm confused, it's a phase, or I'm going through an identity crisis. Only my older brother #2 fully believes and accepts me for it. He claims to have a gaydar, and says he suspected it (but he's totally straight so I think that's funny). None of them have been hostile about it though, but it still hurts that I took the courage to tell and they don't believe me.

Anyway, point is you never know their reaction. They may not believe you. And, just do it when the time feels right. The more you pressure yourself into it, the more difficult it would be to do it. When it feels like a good time, just let it spill.

~May the spirits guide your every assure you please her in all the right places XD

raining men's picture


I always think you should try and keep it quite casual. I mean not just dropped in halfway through a conversation, but don't tell him you've got a big secret or anything. If you make a big thing out of it, so will the other person. If you're calm and treat it as a minor matter, its much harder for the other person to freak out. Don't get angry or defensive. And good luck of course
You shouldn't have too much trouble with hanging around your girlfriend. Parents are much stricter about boy houses because of the pregnancy fear. Boys are distrustful, girls not so in parents eyes. So I wouldn't worry about that

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"