i want her... it's as simple as that

lookin to the future...'s picture

so last night... was interesting to say the least

my best friend decided that me, her and the girl i really like (we'll just call her b) should go out.... we ended up at our spring fair (i live in a pretty hick town... yes believe it or not 30 miles outside of seattle you can find true teeth missing, tight pants wearing, cowboy hat hicks...) so we went to the fair, ate WAY too much food and decided to ditch that after a couple of hours....

anyway we ended up back at my house. b had no idea that my parents are gay... none.... i hadn't really warned her but i wasn't thinking straight (oh... funny i would say that.... i never think straight HAHA) anyway, we went in my house just to grab some forks to fork this bitch's lawn.... well, my mom was a total bitch about it and really embarrassed me... she was mortified that i had b over... whatever....

anyway, out of NOWHERE i just kinda broke down when we got back in the car.... i said to my best friend "just pull over to the side of the road". she knew exactly what i was going to say and probably asked me ten times if "i was sure" all fo a sudden i just knew i had to tell b.... so i was like "i'm so sorry.... i guess i didn't prepare you before we went in the house"... she took it really really well.. and then came the tough part (but i did it!!!!!!!!) i just said "and i'm gay too".... she had no idea (most people don't) she handled it so well.....

so the next thing was something my best friend a and i had to tell her together. a was just like "and there's something else we need to tell you".... long story short b's ex best friend j had a thing for b.... so we let b know and she said "yeah... i kinda figured".... and then she said "but you guys know i'm straight right"? of course both of us were like "yeah" even though both of us are pretty certain she's not....

she's said some really really harsh things about gay people in the past so i was really suprised she took what i had to say well... i was so glad though.... it just broke my heart to hear her say she was straight.... i have never in my whole life met a girl who was gayer than b.... not just by appearance (she actually has semi long hair and can wear a dress well.... real well ;) she's just never really interested in boys... and the guys she does mention that are cute are always the most effeminate boys you can imagine....

i just hope this will bring her to her senses... in a weird way it just makes me want her more.... both of us are 18... never been kissed.. never been with anyone.... and just want to be with her.... i have never wanted anyone in the same way i want her.... my first girl (let's call her l)... well, i was WAY physically attracted to her too but i dunno... it was different.... l just degraded me at every chance... she put me down all the time... b is totally different.... honestly, a and i were taking about her she is genuinely the nicest person either one of us has ever met.... she's sweet, she's naive, she's sexy as hell.... oh god before i go on just let me give you a description: probably 5'6 or 7.... gorgeous tan skin and these green eyes that kill me.... the cuteset little ass.... her pants are always baggy... so cute.... and her legs... jesus....

sadly, i think she actually has a thing for a (who is totally straight)..... i just really wish she would decide to go against everything she's ever been taught and just be with me.... with everything i told her last night i think she is beginning to think things about herself but i can't be cetain....

the only thing i can say is that a is the best friend anyone could ever ask for... she was so supportive... she called me afterwards and just listened to me cry... she's there for me... i've never had anyone in my life who was so willing to just sit and listen to me.... i've never appreciated someone so much... she really wants to hook me up with b but i think she's pretty realistic about it too... she knows that b will probably never admit this to herself....

god damn... i just wish this was a little easier.... someone find me a girl who isn't still in the god damn closet...

ugh...

Comments

electricity's picture

resemblence

Crazy... my name starts with B, I'm about 5'6", green eyes, cute ass =O

I, however, do not sport dresses, nor have the tannest of skin.

I feel your pain. I can't seem to find a nice lesbian of interest. Everyone else is straight, in my case, although this one girl I took slight interest in decided she was straight, even though she had called herself "straight-ish" and "bi" when I had first met her. Yeah, what the hell, right?

sam16's picture

I'm sorry, and too "feel

I'm sorry, and too "feel your pain." It seems that everyone that I know that is out is kind of strange/was more of a social "outcast" to begin with, that it isn't a big deal for them to add another non-nomral adjective to their description.

It is so hard when there is someone that you are SURE is gay, and all you can think is "JUST ADMIT IT!....and then go out with me" :-)

Maybe you'll find some luck in college!