Does it annoy you? (coming out)

Imstillhere's picture

Ok, so you know how sometimes when you want to come out to a friend and they tell you, "You can tell me anything. I'll always be your friend, I promise" or something along those lines, and then after you tell them your Gay, bi, trans, or whatever they stop being your friend? Or act really weird? Doesnt that annoy you? For me it makes me sort of mad like they were lying out of their skull. Just a thought. So what do you think?

Inkblot's picture

*raises hand*

I hate that. Really, deep down inside me I hate that. Blatant hypocrisy and conditional friendship. Bah.

Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

olleson2001's picture

I second that.

It annoys the hell out of me. Seperates the true friends from the false ones though.

jeff's picture

Hmm...

So... you get weeks, months, or years to sort out your sexuality, carefully decide you are ready to tell them, come up with a script in advance, and then, when you finally tell them, they aren't immediately cool with what took you such a long time to deal with yourself?

Is that the situation?

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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Imstillhere's picture

Well yes, I know it took me

Well yes, I know it took me a long time to figure all this out and I should definately give them time, but it seems like they aren't even trying to accept me or even talk to me about it. The majority are simply ignoring me or forgetting i said anything about it altogether.

jeff's picture

Well...

Push the issue. Ask them what you want to know. let them know you want to talk about it.

If they're going to jump ship on you, may as well find out ASAP.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

wilma wonka's picture

it's easier to accept someone else

It took me a while to figure out that I was queer. Before I realized I was gay a close friend came out to me and told me she was bi. I had a fine reaction. I didn't care that she was queer and it didn't affect our relationship at all even though I thought I was straight. Then, when I realized I was queer I freaked out and it took me about a year to fully accept myself (oasis helped a lot, i <3 this site) My point is, it's a lot easier to accept someone else than it is to accept yourself so expecting them to take as long as you did to accept you doesn't really make sense. At least that's been my expirience.

I hate it when people say they'll always like you and then you tell them you're queer and suddenly you're a gross dyke. A friend of mine a few days ago told me that I was one of the nicest people he knew and there was nothing I could tell him about me that would make him stop liking me. I wanted to believe him, it was really sweet, but I'm worried if I came out to him and told him about my questioning my gender identity and all he would sudenly hate me. I don't think people who tell you they'll always like you and then react poorly when you come out think they're lying when they tell you they'll always like you. If someone's homophobic and thinks that highly of you then it probably never occured to them that you could be queer. It still pisses me off even if it's slightly understandable.

"gay: cheerful and lighthearted; merry." - The American Heritage Dictionary.

jeff's picture

Eh...

Who said it should take them "as long"?

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

Toph's picture

Oh, or like they say they

Oh, or like they say they totally accept you but ignore you or the fact that you're queer >.<

~I love goodluck rubs ;P

Uncertain's picture

Don't really know aye... my

Don't really know aye... my friends all happened to be rather accepting. They do sometimes get creeped out or seemed to 'ignore' it. But I mean, I'm used to it. It's not like every sentence or everything that's about me have to be about me being gay - if the subject of gay does come up they still acknowledge that I am. Those who aren't at least tolerant I just never give a damn about anymore...

Meh.

StateOfTheOnion's picture

Fortunately, no one has ever

Fortunately, no one has ever reacted this way to me...well, except for my mum. She was awful, and I was actually disappointed in her as a person for her very unsupportive and insensitive reaction. She's way cool, now, though. I think the way I told her pissed her off, but that shouldn't matter.

You know what I hate? Having to constnatly come out. Everyone assumes that I'm straight..."Hey, so what kind of guys do you like?" And everytime someone asks me that I'm like...."Ummm..." I don't want to hide my sexuality, but it's so annoying to keep having say, "Yeah. I'm totally gay." I mean...I wish people wouldn't assume everyone is straight. It makes it easier. I always ask people, "What types of people do you like?" or "What qualities do you like in a boyfriend/girlfriend?" Yeah...So I never know what to say. "Actually...I'm into girls." Bleghhhh. I hate it!

"Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it just to reach you..." John Lennon

heyitsabi's picture

yep yep

you know what else i hate, when you do come out to a friend and they're like "OMG!!!!! i've never been friends with someone gay/bi/trans!!!!! this is so cool!!!!!" and then you're like "well, we've actually been friends for the past 3 years so really..." and they think its all cool and im like, yea, im not gonna act any different then i am right now.
i just really hate when this happens.
my gay friend "corey" told me a story today about when he told this person he recently met that he was gay and she was like "omg lets be best friends! we can shopping together!!!" and then he wanted to punch her for stereotyping gay men.
i couldnt agree more.

joemondragon's picture

Hear hear!

read the subject

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris

Uncertain's picture

^Amen to that lol

^Amen to that lol