Gender-queer? Anniversaries.

gaynow's picture

Woaaaaah... I was right!!!! I might have gaydar (transdar? -_-'') after all!! After joining Oasis, I've been noticing trans and gender-questioning people a lot more--I didn't really know transexualilty existed before Oasis, actually--and I started looking at people and wordering if anyone at my school was trans. One girl especially, A, who's bi and really loose about sexuality... for some reason I looked at her and idly wondered, "huh, I wonder if she's trans. Meh." And.... she came out as genderqueer today! XD But seriously, though, I'm really, like, honored that she trusted me and the people we were with at the time to tell us. And I don't pretend to understand gender questioning, but I bet it's even harder than orientation questioning and I admire her, and anyone else who's had to go through gender questioning, sosososo much. I suddenly feel like I've had such an easy life... But, at any rate... So, yeah. I'm really happy she told me. And I'm her "gay friend." Omg I'm someone's "gay friend!!!" I feel so accomplished!!! ^^

In other news, I overshot my anniversary. The first person I really came out to, my best friend who I also liked....... it was on may 9th. Although, when I think about it.... my coming out was weird. I don't think I really got my gayness then. I just was able to tell that I liked her in a way I wasn't quite sure of, and that I'd very possibly maybe maybe maybe liked girls before. I say may 9th is my anniversary, but I actually told my mom I was questioning in, like, eighth grade. And even with the friend who I liked/came out to, my coming out wasn't in the form of "I like girls," it was in the form of "I like you." I'd even told her that I liked her the year before; my 'coming out' was actually... pretty much only me telling her I liked her. And right after that, I told my mom that I'd just come out to my friend. Strange. I don't remember my actual anniversary, the time I started actually thinking of myself as a lesbian. It probably wasn't one day. I dunno.

And I'm suddenly thinking of when I came out to Lin. She was sleeping over, and I told her I was bi. Which I knew very well wasn't true. But things between the two of us had been sorta weird, and I thought she'd take it better. But... she was absolutely amazing about it then, and has been ever since. I mean, she is one of those "sexuality isn't definite" people, but she's still been amazing about it. Damn, I didn't--don't?--give her enough credit. I think she was one of my only one-on-one, face-to-face, definite coming-outs. Arg, I feel so bad that I told her I was bi to make her take it better. When I get a chance (at a time that's semi-appropriate), I think I'm gonna apologize to her.

My dad and his poker buddies are here. Joyyyyy.

Comments

dykehalo's picture

I love being peoples "gay

I love being peoples "gay friend" it makes me feel very very "special".
I over shot my first coming out anniversary april 12th or 15h can't quite remember i have it written down sometime but it was early april was my two year but i followed my two year up by a first to my mom on the 18th. Funnily enough or not so i dunno but all but like 4 people i've come out to it's been on the internet which really has nothing to do about ur journal but o well.
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~