Grasping at straws

ReinbowGrl's picture

I wonder if she even reads these anymore. I miss her so much. I can't even look at an IHOP without feeling sad. Is this what letting go feels like? Because I feel like I'm breaking apart. My parents have the stupidity to ask about her. Every word they pull from my mouth makes my heart break all over again. I am not over my ex-girlfriend. And she is keeping promises, that she broke to me, to some one else. And I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. I want so much more for her than what she's getting for herself. I worry because I played mother for two years. I am trying so hard. I don't want her back. I don't want to go crawling back...If only she didn't exist to haunt my dreams and every other thought. I'd be okay...if only I would erase so much. Like the last fatal fight. I may not want her back...because she's so happy without me...But I sometimes wish we were still together...

Comments

joemondragon's picture

these things take time to

these things take time to heal. If you don't think you're going to get her back don't try. I'm sorry. I know it's hard, but just breathe deep, and you'll get over her eventually.

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris

whateversexual_llama's picture

yeah it's totally a time

yeah it's totally a time thing. It's like a broken bone. It hurts like hell, then it's just like trobby and then it's itchy and annoying, and then you get the cast off and your arm is all shrively and weird but it still works, and it takes a while after that but soon both arms are like the same size and shape and you get your muscle tone back and it's all good.

... until you fall out of another tree and break the other arm.

But that's beside the point. You just have to like keep moving and looking forward and distracting yourself and forcing yourself to have fun. It's like physical therapy of the heart.

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.