Well, I finally worked up the guts to slick my bangs back with hair gel at school. Way, butch-ness! :D All of my guy friends thought my hair was weird, and my friend Hannah told me that I looked kind of like a Vulcan from Star Trek. Huh? I'm a Star Trek geek, and Vulcans never slick their bangs back, as far as I know. Only one girl told me that she liked my hair, and I think she was just being nice.
But you know what really surprises me? I don't give a shit. I don't care what they think about my hair. It's my damn hair, and I'll do what I want with it. It's a weird feeling, but it's also exhilarating.
There's a school dance on Friday, and I'm planning on wearing a dress shirt, tie, and jeans to it. I'm kind of scared about whether it's too much or not. But even more, I'm looking forward to seeing the looks on the faces of the people I hate when they see me crossdressing at the dance. Haha.
God, middle-schoolers are so stupid when it comes to fashion. They just follow whatever teen magazines say are trendy, or wear what celebrities wear. They don't try to create their own fashion. What the heck is with that, anyway? What's so wonderful about conformity that they can see and I can't?
Today when I was at my locker, this girl whose guts I hate told me, "You know, you don't have to wear your hair like that tomorrow." I asked, "Why can't I?" She replied, "Because it don't look right." I ignored her. Haha, I can die happy now, knowing that I've freaked out this stupid girl.
I never truly realized before how idiotic my peers are. They tell that I "don't look right"? Is that really the best reason they can come up with why they don't like my hair? I know this sounds cliched, but I think the only reason they don't like me is because I'm different. And what the crap is so wrong about me being myself, anyway?
I hate to admit it, but the straight crush I've been obsessing over for the past few years? She's stupid, too. When I was carpooling with her to school, a song that I liked started playing on the radio , and I started dancing in my seat to it. She looked at me like I was the weirdest thing ever to grace the planet Earth. My mom said later that this was because her parents have taught her that she's supposed to act a certain way and that she's supposed to stay in control all the time and blah blah blah. I just don't get that. What's the point of music at all if you can't dance to it?
I've known my straight ex-crush since we were in preschool, but I've got to face it. We're growing apart. And honestly, I don't think that's really a bad thing. I don't really want to stay friends with someone who can't at least respect who and what I am. I also don't want to be friends with this girl who follows the trends and never questions them. She's not the girl I used to know and love, and I hate that, but I've got to move on.
In short, today was GREAT. I can't wait until Friday. Then I can wear a tie in public for the first time. Yay, crossdressing! :D