Oh don't worry your not gay

the ghost's picture

Its like one in the morning and I am very tired.I should be sleeping but I was finishing yet another assignmnet...three weeks to go until a Summer of freedom *dances*.Anyways I'm having a weird kind of blah day,well actually couple of days.Yesterday was a day I didn't enjoy...and today was another one.I think it is because I have been working the past couple of days.I really don't like my job.I feel all down when I have to go to work.Most of the people are nice...but I just don't know..they are kind of bitchy,which I don't like..I guess I miss my old job because I was settled there and I preferred the people.But ah well I need money for goods and services so I guess I have to stay there for now.

Actually something funny happened yesterday.The list of our breaks was up and another girl has the same name as me.But one of the guys mixed us up and thought that my name was hers on the list and wrote is gay after my name.He meant it to tease her.It was funny though because we were looking at the list and someone said who wrote that about you to me,and the girl with the same name was like oh he meant that for me,don't worry your not gay.It was just something about the way she said it that was so funny.It was like she had somehow de-gayed me by telling me I wasn't gay and scribbling it out with a marker.I chuckled inside:)

But later on when we were having lunch a couple of the guys started saying really mean stuff about gays and it actually really hurt.I was surprised at how hard what they were saying hit me.Obviously they don't know i'm gay and they were just having a conversation over lunch so its not like it was directed at me but it hurt.Oh well thats life.
I need sleep now...more work tomorrow..not fun:(


Nagi-kun's picture


I happened upon your journal and I have to say I was pulled in by the deparity within your struggles of sexuality. I, too, at one point in my life went through that. I no longer suffer for it though because I realized that it doesnt matter what people think, what they say, or how much they choose to deny what I am, because that is their choice. Just as being gay is ours. You shouldnt let what a bunch of people say get you down, because to be perfectly honest, their only saying it because they do not understand. People always talk down about the things they do not understand, and it's when people do that that we should just close our ears to it and go on with making our own decisions. My family is still in denial, even though it's been 9 years since I discovered myself and six since I came out. ^^ so yes, dont feel down on yourself because there is nothing wrong with you. we are who we choose to be and we are allowed to make that choice. dont let anyone tell you different.

well, i'll let you think that over. check out my journal if you'd like. ^^ maybe you'll find some answers to your confusion. and dont hesitate to email me whenever you like. Take care youngling~

joemondragon's picture

Was it a weird wording, or

Was it a weird wording, or did you just say that being gay is a choice?

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris

Nagi-kun's picture


It is a choice. Not a disease as doctor's say it is. I spent several months in the hospital over my 'issues' and to be honest what they say is a load of crap. no offense to you of course. But the fact is no one is born gay. Because as babies, we dont know nor care about gender. You dont know or care about that sort of thing until you've reached the end of childhood and entered your teens. Then gender and sex strick you and sexuality begins to play it's role. But in the end, it is a choice. Whether it be subconscious or you are aware of it, it is nevertheless a choice.

I am pansexual so gender means nothing to me. To point of fact, it never has. My first relationship was with a girl, and that didnt mean anything to me. Nor did being with a guy. But that was my choice. It was my choice to decide whether to care about such minor details of the physical plane, or to look deeper into the aspects of a person that really make the difference. That is what being 'gay' is really all about isnt it? it's not about same sex or opposite sex. It's about a label. Having someway of explaning the things humans classify as outside the norm. And in focusing on things like that, are we not making yet another choice?

Yes, life is about choices. Without making a choice, nothing comes from nothing. Call it whatever, but the facts will remain as they are. And there is no right or wrong choice. Only in how we take it are things right or wrong.

the ghost's picture


Thank you for taking the time to read through my journal and offer me advice and comfort.Your advice is something I have taken on board and truely appreciate.Thank you.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

rowie's picture

i hate working with bitchy

i hate working with bitchy people... it makes you wonder what they are saying about you...
haha dont worry youre not gay! thats classic!!! its as if she thinks you needed her to clarify that for you.

--i used to be a tomboy, now im a full grown lesbian--

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

Nagi-kun's picture

of course she doesnt. i'm

of course she doesnt. i'm not saying she does nor did i ever. i'm merely being me and randomly conveying empathy towards a stranger. ^^

1stTeeka's picture

I hate that

I hate when people talk mean about gay people. I got gym with most of the jocks in my grade and there homophobes and they dont know i'm gay =( it really gets on my nerves alot, there going to find out on monday though so it should be make an interesting end of the day.

*Far from a saint, not quite a sinner*

her_secret_wish's picture

i love being 'de-gayed' its

i love being 'de-gayed' its funny. and it s like 'oh you dont no what ure in for now!


Nagi-kun's picture

wait, now who is de-gaying

wait, now who is de-gaying someone? i'm saying it's fine to be gay. there's nothing wrong with her. it's only wrong in other's eyes and really, what is their opinion worth? opinions are like a-holes, everyone's got one and sometimes they're just full of crap.