so, I have this friend named Ari who doesn't know I'm queer or questioning my gender identity. I'm almost certain that he has a crush on me which will only make things more awkward. I've been pretty distant latly and he knows that something's up. He's been asking me about it but we've always been in school so I couldn't really say anything about how my gender has been pissing me off. So I'm going to see him after school on friday. When I told him that it was just going to be as friends he seemed kinda upset, he had his head down during the class right after lunch when I told him and was staring at me in this sad sorta way. He also kept asking me to just tell him right then and there and not wait till friday. I feel so guilty, it's tearing him to pieces not knowing what's going on. Now I"ve also made it so that I HAVE to tell him EVERYTHING on friday. I get butterflies everytime I think about it. I've really fucked this up, between making him crazy by making him wonder what's going on and forcing myself to tell him. I can be so dumb sometimes.