promising to come out

wilma wonka's picture

so, I have this friend named Ari who doesn't know I'm queer or questioning my gender identity. I'm almost certain that he has a crush on me which will only make things more awkward. I've been pretty distant latly and he knows that something's up. He's been asking me about it but we've always been in school so I couldn't really say anything about how my gender has been pissing me off. So I'm going to see him after school on friday. When I told him that it was just going to be as friends he seemed kinda upset, he had his head down during the class right after lunch when I told him and was staring at me in this sad sorta way. He also kept asking me to just tell him right then and there and not wait till friday. I feel so guilty, it's tearing him to pieces not knowing what's going on. Now I"ve also made it so that I HAVE to tell him EVERYTHING on friday. I get butterflies everytime I think about it. I've really fucked this up, between making him crazy by making him wonder what's going on and forcing myself to tell him. I can be so dumb sometimes.


5thstory's picture

That is a bad situation.

That is a bad situation. What can I say? take it easy, I mean, if he liked you before I'm sure he'll understand everything you tell him. And still be friends. If he isn't, it worthy to worry about someone that doesn't accept you as you are?

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens - Solo quiero verte bailar, girando, girando, girando.

jeff's picture


Stop thinking of it as coming out, with all the baggage that goes along with that. You're just going to tell someone the truth. How hard can that be? If he's concerned about you now, he can turn into one of your greatest confidantes after.

And, just a grammatical note: you have been pissed off about your gender. Your gender can't piss you off. Don't shift things around so you get to be the victim. For obvious reasons, I can't correct every post on here that makes that mistake, but if you start reading journals here for people who are prefectly fine and normal, but their gender, parents, friends, teachers, sexuality, partners, computers, televisions, and everything else are working against them... well, it's pretty common on here. :-)


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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