when will the tears come?

lookin to the future...'s picture

so today was a half day... ridiculously bored i called up my best friend... we, being typical seattlites decided that starbucks was the best answer to our boredom.... :)

while there our other best friend (and the girl i honestly think i might be in love with.... yeah that's right i said it) called and asked us to come over.... and we did.... her parents weren't home.... i can't stand them (background: her parents beat the shit out of her.... and well her dad's a total CREEP if you get where i'm going with that...) so anyway we were just talking.... ended up on the computer.... her parents came home which wasn't too cool but i kinda just thought whatever.... no big deal as long as we stay upstairs....

well my best friend had mentioned to me that last time she was over there at my crush's house that her mom had been really rude to my crush and had actually gotten pretty physical with her.... not smacking her around but pulling on her hair etc (and no not in a loving way at all...)

so we're on the computer and her mom comes up.... tells her to stand up and with us there (HIGHLY AWKWARD) ridicules her for applying to college (question: what kind of parent ridicules their kid for applying to college.... weird) anyway, she procedes to block her from going downstairs and as she goes to get past her grabs her by her hair and literally pulls her back up by her hair.... excuse me? i just kinda stood there in shock... if she is this physical with us around what the hell does she do to her the rest of the time?

and if that isn't bad enough we go back into her room and she asked me to get something for her out of her closet.... i opened it up and almost lost it (background story to that one: her closet is on metal runners.... she used to cut.... and i mean DEEP.... with the runners.... kinda hard to explain but...) i just saw the metal and almost started to cry but it was weird... the tears didn't come.... they still, an hour later, haven't come...

i've never had this happen.... when this kind of stuff happens to someone that i care this much about i would ususally lose it....

god damn.... i complain about my dysfunctional family a ton.... but damn this kinda stuff puts this in perspective.... holy shit.... it's a difficult thing to explain..... and part of it is because i am so damn emotionally attached BUT.... wow..... her family is fucked up....

usually when i leave i give her a hug... the three of us are very touchy feely but tonight i left without giving her one... i think i would have lost it... i knew i had to stay strong for her... so difficult....

the good thing is the three of us are all moving to portland in august.... she needs to get out of that fucking house....

we were just sitting around tonight... she was sitting so close to me... i could hear her breath..... i could smell her.... it takes so much to resist her somedays...

Comments

hellonwheels's picture

Well, i guess I'm not...

...a typical seattlite, because I hate starbucks...lol. Man, this girl seriously needs t get the hell out of there...maybe she should come and live w/ you and your mom until you head to college. I mean, that is bull. I do think your crush needs some serious help though, I mean, cutting on the sliders of a closet?? That's intense...I think she may need treatment, no offense or anything, but she has serious issues to work out. I know a girl like her who used to cut all the time who got help and is a lot better now, but at least your friend has you there for her when she needs you jordin...She could at least use someone positive in her life....that totally sucks.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

lookin to the future...'s picture

yeah...

my mom definitely said her moving in here was a no go... understandable for the most part i guess... that's a lot to take on... she is moving in with our other best friend though... which is just as good... their family adores her so it's definitely a good option...

i know she has some serious issues... definitely she is going to need some serious help once we get down to portland...

ugh... the maternal instincts in me just want to make it all better...

my three wheeler rox's picture

oh my..

That sounds terrible for her and for you. *hugs* I hope she gets out of there soon.

Ride hard or stay home.

Do they react that way because of who we are or because of your personality?
"I like to think it's me."

Y - GuRl's picture

aw man

That is definetely not cool, really hope she gets outta there. Be there for her though yeah.

joemondragon's picture

Holy crap. I would say spill

Holy crap. I would say spill the beans, but if shes moving out I guess it's not necessary. I guess.

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris