An epic ramble

the ghost's picture

I have been having a gay movie fest this week.So far I have watched "But I'm a Cheerleader","D.E.B.S","Imagine Me and You",and Loving Annabelle".I had already seen "Loving Annabelle" and "Imagine Me and You",but the other two movies were new to me and I must say I loved them.I think D.E.B.S was my favourite though.The story was so cute and funny.I almost didn't watch it because I seen some clips of it and thought it looked really dumb.But when I sat down to watch it I thought it was great.Also I thought Lucy Diamond(I don't know the actresses real name)was really pretty.

I am not sure that the fact that I have had time to sit down and watch loads of gay movies this week,is a good or bad thing.Sure the movies are great,but I wish I had someone to watch them with.Or at the least someone else to talk about them with.But since I'm posing as a hetrosexual,chatting about the great gay movies I have been watching is kind of out of the question at the minute.But I am not going to start moaning about that.I know sitting here at my computer moaning about my miserable fucking life isn't going to fix it,and to be fair most of the time my life isn't that miserable.

Sure there are a lot of things about my life that I would like to change and sort out,and being closeted is one of them.I know coming out isn't some magical cure to everything.But I do feel being out of the closet will make some things a lot better and also actually give me a far more significant chance of ever having a girlfriend.Things have been a bit weird regarding the whole gay thing between myself and the two friends that know.Not weird as in they have a problem with it,but weird as in they are reluctant to mention it.This is because the last time that they were trying to talk me around into being more open about it I sort of just flipped out.I'm not sure why,I just kind of paniced.Since then its kind of something that they have been reluctant to bring up,so I think it is something I need to sort out.

Basically I have set myself a goal of being open enough about it by the time my next semester of college starts(mid september) so I can join the glbt society.So I will pretty much have to tell my close college friends,as it is likily they would notice me becoming a member.So thats kind of scary,but I am going to do it.I have to.I remember reading on here ages ago a person saying you know you are ready to come out when you feel like your going to explode keeping it in any longer-I pretty much think I am at that point.

I think I am going to talk to my sister about it,before I tell anymore friends.I feel kind of weird keeping such a huge secret from my family.I know most people seem to beout everywhere at home first.But I just don't feel that I could do that completely.I would prefere to talk to my sister and get some advice first on handling talking to my parents about it.After all they have been her parents longer haha.

Ok well I better go because I got to go to work tomorrow.I HATE it:( I don't really mind the work.It is just the people.They are so annoying.I made one mistake tonight and one of my managers was such a bitch about it.It's not like I did it on purpose grr!!If one of her "clique" had done it it would have been ok.Grr it pissed me off!!
Ok I'm off!

Comments

electricity's picture

Hey, I wish you luck with

Hey, I wish you luck with everything. Coming out is scary, but once you're out [even to a few] it's a big relief and you start to feel more and more liberated. It's ultimately worth it =]

Lol-taire's picture

Good luck. Yeah, I think

Good luck. Yeah, I think friends take your lead on whether or not to mention gay stuff when you're in the process sliding out of the closet. If you can joke about it with them, it tends to clear the air for if you ever need to have a Serious Talk with them about the issue (or just mention it at all).
Also, I think family almost always has a pretty good idea that you're gay before you tell them.

Oh and seeings as your gay film-ifying, I recomend 'My summer of love'.

the ghost's picture

Thanks guys!!And thanks for

Thanks guys!!And thanks for the film recommendation I shall have a look out for it:)

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

the ghost's picture

Thanks guys!!And thanks for

Thanks guys!!And thanks for the film recommendation I shall have a look out for it:)

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt