It occurred to me earlier as I was nostalgically revisiting some of my old posts that I have always operated under the idea that if I am to be journaling here, at Oasis, the theme of my journal absolutely must be gay. Or, if the central idea in my entry wasn’t gay in nature, then I had to reference some gay aspect of my life at some point so as to justify posting it on Oasis. Like: hi, Oasians. Today I stressed about finals, read too much Sylvia Plath, saw this amazing movie, produced a half-baked poem about Newton…and oh, uh, I saw a beautiful girl at the convenience store while getting gas – see? Still gay. I wasn’t at all aware that I did this. To break the habit, I’m going to suppress my gay-news-update impulse and grace other trivialities instead.
Actually, I don’t think I can do it. Ordinarily I would be able to, but my life is so bloated with gayness right now that I’m practically seeing through a rainbow haze. I’m in Nevada, staying with my aunt and her amusing partner who were recently married in Vancouver (that gorgeous, gay-friendly haven), leading a temporary life of monotony, sustained mostly by two hour phone conversations with aforementioned gf (see any previous journal entry within the past few months for more information), and occasionally skimming the lesbian magazine “Curve” which my aunt ironically left in my room’s closet for my perusal in a very hush-hush manner - so as to avoid offending my slightly homophobic father, also present. She’s thoughtful, my aunt. She thinks that back home I’m suffocating in the armpit of conservatism or something, when really, most people are merely apathetic and rather dreary. Almost worse than hostile, really.
I’m growing very bored with Curve and its articles – e.g. “Sapphic screen” and “Lesbofile.” I need to get back home and go to work so I don’t have as much time to sit around and consider my cheerless mood, or how I’ve been reduced to half a person ever since I started going out with this girl I’m so absurdly in love with who remains miles and miles away until the commencement of classes at the university.
For next time, I’ll aspire to write a gay-free entry. Just once, I promise.