Why are all my entries apparently gay-themed?

ACCgirl's picture

It occurred to me earlier as I was nostalgically revisiting some of my old posts that I have always operated under the idea that if I am to be journaling here, at Oasis, the theme of my journal absolutely must be gay. Or, if the central idea in my entry wasn’t gay in nature, then I had to reference some gay aspect of my life at some point so as to justify posting it on Oasis. Like: hi, Oasians. Today I stressed about finals, read too much Sylvia Plath, saw this amazing movie, produced a half-baked poem about Newton…and oh, uh, I saw a beautiful girl at the convenience store while getting gas – see? Still gay. I wasn’t at all aware that I did this. To break the habit, I’m going to suppress my gay-news-update impulse and grace other trivialities instead.

Actually, I don’t think I can do it. Ordinarily I would be able to, but my life is so bloated with gayness right now that I’m practically seeing through a rainbow haze. I’m in Nevada, staying with my aunt and her amusing partner who were recently married in Vancouver (that gorgeous, gay-friendly haven), leading a temporary life of monotony, sustained mostly by two hour phone conversations with aforementioned gf (see any previous journal entry within the past few months for more information), and occasionally skimming the lesbian magazine “Curve” which my aunt ironically left in my room’s closet for my perusal in a very hush-hush manner - so as to avoid offending my slightly homophobic father, also present. She’s thoughtful, my aunt. She thinks that back home I’m suffocating in the armpit of conservatism or something, when really, most people are merely apathetic and rather dreary. Almost worse than hostile, really.

I’m growing very bored with Curve and its articles – e.g. “Sapphic screen” and “Lesbofile.” I need to get back home and go to work so I don’t have as much time to sit around and consider my cheerless mood, or how I’ve been reduced to half a person ever since I started going out with this girl I’m so absurdly in love with who remains miles and miles away until the commencement of classes at the university.

For next time, I’ll aspire to write a gay-free entry. Just once, I promise.

Comments

the mouse that roared's picture

:)

I know what you mean. I feel like that too. How can I write about anything else on here? Part of it might be maintaining anonymity, maybe, not having too many details about myself but I'm happy and like my job and my life is conflict free if I stop thinking too much doesn't really add up to an entry, does it? Well, maybe I could make it into one. Just don't have the motivation I guess. I never write anymore.

Oops. I haven't used any queer words yet. Don't want to sound closeted or something. So here we g--lbtq2i...

No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless; there is too much work to do.--Dorothy Day

ACCgirl's picture

Yeah...

That's a good point about life beyond gayness being relatively conflict-free. Mine is too, I suppose, and apparently another subtle requirement for my journal entires is a conflict of some sort. Probably owing to all those years of reading books/stories that centered on conflict-resolution, or something.

The queer acronym is getting a little out of control, don't you think? GLBTQI...and invariably I'm missing something. "Gay" is so much easier.

P.S. Today I saw a beautiful girl while getting coffee - ie, I'm still queer.

Lol-taire's picture

Well now, at least your

Well now, at least your reduced because you're distant from this girl you love absurdly, at least you don't just love absurd girls or no-one at all.

I know what you mean though, I always feel that half my journals here aren't proper because I end up talking about clothes more than I talk about girls. And when I do write queer stuff it's 'so nature's played me a dirty trick' that it's practically time-travel.