am i gay???

bird_flight's picture

hey ive been looking at this site for a few weeks or so and i think you guys could help me out. i think im gay. i wanna talk to someone about it. but my parents would prolly freak if i even mentained it as a possibility. so i don't know what to do. any suggestions or ANYTHING????


Toph's picture

I'm not really good at giving advice, but...

I think just talking it out and sorting through thoughts and emotions helps. Like, what do you prefer sexually? A boy or girl? Maybe both? Would you be willing to get into a same sex relationship? Stuff like that.


ForeverEndedToday's picture

I'm sure everyone here at

I'm sure everyone here at Oasis would be more than happy to help you out. (Welcome to the site btw!) I guess for me when I was just starting to question my sexuality what helped me was blasting music in my room and just letting my mind wander onto "that" subject. In other words just going with how I felt in not trying to question it even though I might not have liked the feeling of knowing I might be a *gasp* lesbian haha.

I would suggest reading books. It might sound totally nerdy but books helped me so much during my coming out process. Gay has become an umbrella term so I don't know which sex you think you might like so if you think you might be interested in girls try "Annie on my Mind". If you think you might be interested in guys try "Rainbow Boys". Both have at least one character who is questioning their sexuality.

If you think getting a book from the library is too risky because your parents might find it try reading coming out stories on the internet. You can always delete your history if your parents check that sort of thing. Here's a link to a site that has a large amount:
It helps reading them because it lets you know that you're not the only one who's going through this really confusing time, and it helps sort out who you are.

Lastly I would suggest talking to people about it. If you're not comfortable sharing with friends and family post all of what you're feeling up here. In my experience it helps so much to get all of what I'm feeling out.

Good luck with everything! It doesn't matter if you're straight, bi,gay at the end of everything, people here at Oasis will still comment on your journals haha

bird_flight's picture

sorry i didn't tell you more

sorry i didn't tell you more about myself. i'm a guy and i just finished my first year in high school. im gonna fill out the bio so you can learn more about me. it was a tough year because i basicaly drifted away from alot of my friends and spent alot of trying to figure myself out. i donthave anyone i can talk to about being gay or anything because the people i am sorta friends with already think im weird and im always trying to fit in and shit. i mean, i like guys, but i have a really hard time admitting it. i dont think ill ever be able to tell anyone so i just wanna give up.
i really read any of those books because people might catch me with them. but thanks for that website.
i dont see any way i could have an enjoyable future in my life.

Neutrina's picture

Does your school have a GSA?

Does your school have a GSA? That could help you meet more people to talk to. Don't worry; you'll find people who can accept you no matter whom you like. If your school is especially homophobic, there's always summer camp. And college. Don't let the blockheads get you down. :)

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

bird_flight's picture

there is a gsa but everyone

there is a gsa but everyone makes fun of it and if i joined id get trashed by the people i sorta hang out with and i cant deal with that right now.