First personal coming out.

s0careless's picture

Okay. So I told the first person (who isn't my lesbian bestfriend/ex girlfriend) that I am infact bisexual.

C knew because well, she's a lesbian. And there was just comfort in that. But we had our relationship, our perks and our flaws. And it came down to just allowing it to be open. She's out and I'm like a retarded moral wreck, so I'm slowly (but surely) just trying to get out there.

I told my friend K a few nights ago that I was bisexual. And he just made jokes about me being curious, yadda yadda, how I'm so boy crazy. But last night I told him that I was completely serious in KNOWING that I was bisexual. And he asked me if I had had any experiences and I said yes.

And then I just started to spill out everything, I was just afraid to tell him who it was with (there's a whole friendship group history with all of us).

But then as the night went on, I told him who. And he kind of freaked, just because everything that's been going on for a while fell into place. And then later he apologized for not stepping up when I gave him the chance to be reassuring. That, in itself, was reassuring.

I have never felt so relieved and bare and amazed. I am extremely proud of myself, whether that is selfish to say. But to just have someone know the TRUTH - it's just this ultimate contentness.

I told him about telling my best friend, S. And he said I should just wait and let it be for a while. One - I'm no where near anything close to ready. And two, it's going to be a hard year for her as it is as the summer closes. Her first REALLY serious boyfriend, who she is madly in love with, is going away to college in NC (we're stuck in the rut called Maryland). And she, as I see is, is going to be devastated. There's no other word for it. And I can't imagine just dropping another bomb on top of that.

But I'm happy with taking my time.
Regardless of if C makes me feel slow and retarded for still caring how she's going to react to it. It's horrifying, y'know?

Comments

some medicinal plato's picture

Nice - i wouldn't say it's

Nice - i wouldn't say it's "selfish" to feel proud of yourself for facing a difficult task. congrats and i hope it goes as well with your S friend. i think you're probably being smart by waiting on telling her. it doesn't really sound like you're ready to tell her, and it doesn't really sound like she's ready to hear it.

Disney's picture

Congratulations! =)

Congratulations! =)