Fucking Mockingbird!!!

bulldyke's picture

Okay, I love birds. Like, from a distance. I'm a birder. I like birds. But not at 0435 in the goddamn morning!!!!! There is a freaking mockingbird that has been singing, right outside my window, for the last 4 fucking hours!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!! It's driving me insane!!!!!! I WANT A GUN!!!!! Please, someone, give me a shotgun. Or a high powered sniper rifle. Or hell, just give me some more ammo for my bb guns. I want to take the damn thing out!!!!!

ARRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! It's driving me insane(r)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO KILL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, that was really random, wasn't it? Yeah, well...

On a different note, I'm having lunch with my ex tomorrow. Looking forward to it. She's a really cool person, and now that we've figured out that neither of us have feelings for eachother, we're good friends. It helps that I've got R to think about whenever I start to remember what Emma and I had. I do sometimes, but I don't want it back. I can see now that it was a really messed up relationship, and that she was darn near abusive, emotionally, but I don't blame her. She's had a pretty fucked up life.

So now we're friends, and I don't feel guilty about it, and I'm pretty sure R's okay with it. I haven't actually told her, but that has more to do with the fact that i haven't talked to her in 6 weeks than anything. And I did tell her about it in my notebook, which is going to be hers when she gets back.

God, I can't believe it's been 6 weeks. That's a month in a half! I'm amazed that I've survived for this long. I miss her so much, but I'm starting to be able to function fairly well now. I'm not so depressed. Yeah, my sleep cycle is fucked up, but who gives? It's summer.

I can't wait til she gets back. It's all I think about. How I just want to sweep her in my arms and kiss her passionately, and spend about a week with her, just the two of us. Not that any of it's likely to happen. Well, the first one definitely, the second one is possible, and the third one won't happen. *Sigh*

It's kinda funny. I waited for almost 5 months to go out with her, and never once thought I was doing something stupid. Then we had about two weeks, or so, when we were talking every night, and I spent a week with her, at the pool and at the park. And then she left for Utah. And now it's been another 6 weeks. And ya know what? I don't regret it, not for a moment. I'd wait for her for a lifetime, so long as I knew she'd be coming back. And I know she will be. I know she loves me, and wants to be with me.

And now, staring at the computer screen is giving me yet another migrane, and I'm out of meds, so I'm going to go to bed now. The mockingbird seems to have heard my threats, and has shut up. For now.

Comments

whateversexual_llama's picture

Aww, that's so SWEET! I'll

Aww, that's so SWEET! I'll betcha everything goes great with her... just spend as much time with her as you can... even if it's not perfect, it'll be wonderful =)

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

Hakase's picture

Mockingbirds

I have birds and crickets and other stuff make noise outside of my room often, so I've started wearing earplugs. Maybe that would help you. I recommend the waxy kind though because the foam ones bug me, not to mention how they always seem to fall out.

my three wheeler rox's picture

...

I know the feeling, love. I sleep with my window open and it sucks when that shit happens!

Don't apologize for calling me Sir

Don't point your f*%^ing finger at crazy people!

5thstory's picture

I can't help myself, but

I can't help myself, but commenting on the bird: you'll get over here, there some huge trees in front of our building, and you can hear birds singing quite early (There are lots of birds in this city, it's awful)...the point is, it only took me like 3 years to get used to the singing birds in the morning, so just hold on a little! (or, what is easier, buy a toy snake put it on the tree and bye-bye birds)

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens