i was in my car at a red light on the way to the grocery store with a scrap of paper with the list in my right hand, and i was checking and rechecking it for 'peanut butter' because i'm obsessive about my pb and j before work when suddenly i looked up and saw her.
yes, her. that person that everyone has a least one heart-ripping dose of in life. that one that you love so loyally and stupidly you begin to hate yourself for being a slave to the love because she'll never love you back no matter what you say or which people you hang around or how you fix your hair in the morning.
she was in a black car next to mine. she looked over and saw me as my green arrow lit up and i pulled forward. she smiled a little, but with all the friendliness of a cool acquaintance. i hated her a little for giving me trace amounts of kindness. then groceries seemed trivial, and life, suddenly very hard.