My iPod is frustrating me immensely.
When I try to turn it one, it comes up with this stupid sad-faced iPod logo.
I'M THE ONE MUSIC DEPRIVED.
I demand to listen to music during the day when I've got noone/nothing to talk to. It calms my nerves. Which need calming, believe me.
I havn't posted on here for a while :|
Well, Me and T are still going out.
Its over 2 months, and it'll be 3 months on the 25th.
We've never done anything for the whole "one month, two month" anniversary thing. Shes not the type.
Then again, she's not really the type for anything except hanging out with her best friend and very barely talking like she's actually my girlfriend =/
That aside, I love her, I do. And she assures me that she loves me too, and I guess I should just accept that and believe it but... I don't know.
I'm kinda dependant in a relationship, or clingy, but then again, if the other person is dependant/clingy then I automatically adjust to be more dominant. I adapt to the relationship I'm in, or role if you like.
Its weird. Skip this bit because its just going to be more self-analysis :S
With one of my ex's, N, we were -realllyyy- close. And there was sparks and laughs and excitement and we baked giant cookies the size of a pizza and got sick eating them and stuff.
And we stayed at her house and watched D.E.Bs then went and... *ahem* yeah...
And at that time I was really unstable and going through a rough patch, so she was the more dominant one, she'd come up behind me and just hold me, she'd message me at 2am after we'd gotten off the phone and say "Try get some sleep, I love you and it'll be okay :]"
I'm over her now, though it probably doesnt sound like it, but I miss that kind of working in a relationship. We were open, everyone that mattered knew, we weren't afraid of wearing rainbow bracelets and holding hands with our friends around.
With me a T however, it's a different story.
She hasnt really been in a real relationship ever before, the furthest she's gone with anyone is hookup/makeout/whateveryoucallit and she's not affectionate or submissive or dominant in a relationship sense.
She's really arrogant, but I admire her for that, nothing gets to her, she's got this mental barrier and she lives like she's the best and she doesn't give a fuck about other peoples opinions of her, yet she lives to impress people and argh.
I'm really down to earth.
I wear jeans, and only jeans. Skinny jeans. Black, grey, white.
I wear shirts. T-shirts. Band shirts.
And I wear hoodies.
Thats it. I'm not comfortable in dresses or anything, and I hate my boobs :| though I don't think I'd do anything to get rid of them because I'll probably eventually turn into a femme like everyone else in my family. (theyre all straight though)
I just don't know where this relationship is going. Obviously we're going to breakup eventually, I mean hell, we're what, 15? 16?
But three months. If we last till the end of the month, this'll be the longest relationship I've had without having sex.
Eek. That's really bad :| I'm not even legal technically.
I'm not a slut! I just find physical closeness really, I don't know, relaxing, calming. Waking up next to someone is one of most amazing feelings for me, especially when you know that you're in love with them.
I'm not the kind of person that goes and has sex with any hot girl I see... though I do consider it sometimes.
This really had no point at all :|
Incase anyone's read this far, which I doubt, for our 3month I talked her into celebrating it somehow.
We decided we want a pet XD
And we went through various pets and came to decide on a mouse.
A black mouse, or a white one with spots.
So on the 25th (or as close to that as possible) I'm gonna go get a mouse. And we're gonna name it and spoil it and yeah.
I wish it was like that all the time.
Tonight I'm going over my friends house C, and M's gonna be there too.
And we're gonna sneak out and get REALLY drunk and REALLY stoned, because I really need it. Badly. I'm wound up and stressed and angry and hating and just ARGH. I need to let it out.
And I'm looking forward to it especially, because I know when I'm incredibly drunk I'll call T and be completely honest with her.
We're never truly honest with eachother unless we're under the influence of something.
Our arrogance/pride/inhibitions get in the way.
I'm gonna go pack my stuff.
HUGS for everyone =]
[edit - wow. this was long :| sorry!]