My Friend is a Slut and Can't Get a Date

Orah's picture

One of my closest friends in the entire world is the biggest slut in our group of friends. I say that because I am sure there are plenty of other people in our school who are just as, if not more, slutty. But I don't know them. I know her.

You'd think after the pregnancy scare she'd ease up, but no! At least now she's using condoms during sex but refuses during oral. She seems to give blow jobs to any guy she can. Can we say STI? I swear to God, the next time I hear about her giving a blow job to yet another guy I'm dragging her the hell down to PP. It's ridiculous. Her clothes are very revealing. Sure, she's tall and thin but it's just too much. For anybody let alone a sixteen-year-old!

She attaches herself to anybody who shows the least bit of attention. I'm scared for her, I always have been. Let's just say I wasn't the least bit surprised when she revealed that she was about a month late.

But what can I do? I've talked to her, told her gently first and then more directly and harshly what she was doing and how it was affecting our relationship but she just keeps on doing it. At least now she's not doing guys she KNOWS that I like. And she doesn't. Just 'cause.

And of course, I can't get a date. I don't even like anybody right now. *sigh* I don't need a significant other, but it would certainly be nice. Camp is next week, summer fling perhaps?

Comments

Ashe Wednesday's picture

I had a friend like

I had a friend like yours...we were actually best friends. The only difference was that she wouldn't have sex with them but she'd do everything else. She'd latch onto any guy that gave her two seconds out of their lives, even if they really did not care about her (and they rarely did). I worried about her, told her what she was doing was irresponsible but it boiled down to the fact that she was only gonna understand when she was ready to.

We're no longer friends...simply because the drama she brought to everything was too much. I hope your friend gets smart and realizes what she's doing is 1)reckless, 2)immature and 3)downright stupid.

Arthur's picture

DAmn

Sad to say, that sounds like my sister. :/ 'Cept she's like, five months pregnant...at 19. Ugh.

Hmm, weeeeeeelllllllllllll. Given that I have a sibling like that and all I feel that I should be able to help...but I can't think of anything. At least not anything you haven't already tried... :sigh: I would suggest not up and walking away. Sounds like a go figure moment, but I used to get really frustrated with my sis. Then, keep talking. Continue to explain that you care for her safety. Other than that, I guess, just be there.

Hope I helped at all.

"It's so hard to get people to understand. It's so easy to be misunderstood because the only words we have can so easily sound ridiculous."--Jamison Green, "Becoming a Visible Man"

Toph's picture

Well, if I was in your

Well, if I was in your shoes, I'd just leave her and forget it. You've done all you could to express your concern for her, yet she still continues this stupid behavior. She doesn't care how it affects you or others around her. She doesn't deserve the pity.

BUT...

I'm not you. By the sound of it, you're a forgiving and very caring person. If you're willing to go through with it, stick with her. Try to help her because by the sound of it maybe all this crazy sex stuff is the outcome of some other underlying problem/issue in her life? Because you were saying she immediately gets attached to someone who shows a bit of affection. Well, by dishing out the sexual favors, she probably thinks it'll get a guy to like her or to grow attached to her. What a better way to get a guy to show affection than through sex? Because if she's that needy, maybe that little moment alone with the guy is enough in her mind to make her think that for that moment she is being cared for by the guy. I don't know her, so I can't say. But if that is the case, maybe you should talk to her and make her understand that it isn't true affection that the guys are going after, and also that it isn't the right way to find love. If she is just being a slut for the heck of it, well, then you decide if you're still going to be her friend and help her out.

I'm not sure if that really helped...

I hope all goes well.

jeff's picture

Umm...

Sounds like you have a problem, not her. She's doing what she wants, and you're concerned, which is fine. But it's not really your business.

She might be working on some issues, but your job is to tell her you're there for her. If you continually try to change her and tell her she's wrong, then you're also not going to be the person she comes to when she finally needs someone. In which case, you're judging her now and not the person she'll want to confide in later, so... lot of energy potentially going to waste.

As for you being single... I'd say that would also benefit from you totally concentrating on living your own life. In regard to her, your only job is telling her which people you're interested in, so she doesn't sleep with them first, if that's an issue.

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"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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