Rants, Raves, Homophobia!

dykehalo's picture

So I don't even know what i'm going to say. This journal is going to be filled more then likely with ranting and complaining.
My dad announced that in the fall Barb is moving in with him as well as her kids... luckily i still get my old room...
the 4 of us- my mom, sis, dad and i all lived int eh house then in grade 5 my dad moved out then last year my mom, sis and i were moving out so he asked if he could buy it from us so he did. So it's been my room for 13 years so i'm happy.
But i'm not to thrilled about her moving in. It's not that i don't like her. She nice and her kids are good too. I babysit them and i love them to death. But her kids can get a little annoying because the 13 yr old acts like he's 10 but wants all the power of a teen. The 10 year old has a learnin disability but his emotional level is like 8 and the 8 year old girl is actually normal.
I think i'm just mad about it because through my childhood i always got the short end of the stick compared to friends and how it should have been. My dad was never around even when he lived with us he was ALWAYS working. But now they are going to get the life i never had and the little girl will now be my fathers little girl i won't be the baby in the family anymore i'll just be stuck in the middle.
* I think i might have already written a journal about this but it's still bugging me.
Um my friends have basically started to ignore me. All but 2 the one is in BC so i can't talk to her and my other one i just don't like talking to her about stuff.
I have shock tonight which will be good to take my mind off things although i have to spend the whole night with my dad which isn't soo great.
I HATE my dad. I HATE HATE HATE him. He's soo homophobic and thinks it's all this big joke.
Like last week on his one friends car at work (he's a cop both of them) he printed up this fake bumper sticker that had a rainbow on it and said livin the life. That was put on one side of the bumper and the other one said Showing my pride with the rainbow as well.
He thought it was funny if everyone thought his friend was gay... i don't find it that funny it just makes me mad!!!
Because of my dad i don't trust men however 2 of my male friends have the same name as my dad and then i have 2 other male friends and that's alll... i don't trust the rest. And i've had bad experiences with other males so yeh.

Comments

wilma wonka's picture

maybe...

if he starts treating those kids the way you've always wanted him to treat you, he might start thinking of all of you in the same way and his treatment towards you could be the same as it is towards them. I don't know if this will happen, but it might, don't give up on this being a good thing yet. Did that make any sense?

"gay: cheerful and lighthearted; merry." - The American Heritage Dictionary.

dykehalo's picture

yeh it did make sense. I try

yeh it did make sense.
I try not to loose sight on some of the positive things of it like there dad disowned them so now they'll have a dad and a life they deserve as well. ~~~Fear is only a verb if you let it be.. don't you dare let go of my hand~~~