Yesterday I realized that the fourth of July is coming up in 3 days, my birthday is in two weeks, and today me and my gf have been together for six months. I love my life!! Last night I was on the phone with Chloe and her mom needed her to do something so she said she would call me back. We got of the phone and the next thing I know she calls back 20 minutes later saying she couldn't get through but then she has to put me on hold cuz her sis called her at home, meantime my grandmother, (let's call her Hatty) doesn't even bother to tell me that my Aunt Genie is supposed to call back. So then she gets on the phone starts yelling at me tells me to get off and every two and half seconds she picks up the phone and yells at me some more. And I know i'm a good exagerater but really about every two or three seconds. Then she comes in to my room makes me hang up and the Chloe gets back on and Hatty yells at her and calls me a stupid bitch. She gets her little phone call in and 15 minutes later Chloe calls me while i'm trying to cut myself but thankfully saves me from that.
But that only ends it for an hour or two. Chloe had to go again cuz her sister needed help with something for the baby. She let me go one more time and when she called back Hatty gets on the phone tells us both that if she calls back again tonight she's gonna block her number so that we can't talk again for the next two months, tells Chloe that she ruined her own life by being gay and then turns around and tells me that if I stay with her my life will get even worse. And an hour after that she has to go to bed so she lets me go, calls my mom and says I need to talk to someone or I'm gonna have a breakdown and so my mom gets worried and calls and since Hatty heard the phone ring she unplugs in. That's when I fucking snapped and charged out my room in tears with my mascara all down my face calling her a stupid phychotic bitch and told her that was my mom and I can't wait til Nicole comes back and I get to move out. She plugs the phone back in, I talk to mom and she calls julie my inhome worker but again her phone is off she lets me go, julie never calls, mom calls says good night, and Hatty comes back in to yell at me end of story. Welcome to my life of lesbians, phychos, and dumbass social workers who leave the state. I've been thinking that if I cut myself again maybe it will make it better but it never does. I wonder if people would even care if I commit suicide. I doubt it though, a lot of the time I tell myself I should just kill myself to see if they care after that but then I remember that if they did I couldn't come back to give them another chance.