I can't decide if I should come out or not at my sleep away camp. For a while I've been like, "I'm gonna come out and finaly kill this g-d damned closet which has been pissing me off so much". Then I briefly mentioned it in another journal entry and people were like, "whoa, think about this a little, you really do care what people think". So here are the pros and cons to coming out, is it worth it?
REASONS TO COME OUT
~My camp is a zionist progressive youth movment which prides itself of being very libral and accepting, etc. We frequently talk about homosexuality and everyone says their fine with it.
~Everyone at my camp is very open, having that traped feeling of being in the closet is really hurting my summer.
~This will be my 6th summer there, everyone knows me so maybe even if people were homophobic they'd still be ok with it cuz they know me so well.
~Our tents have no walls so girls are used to being seen naked by boys so why should they care if a gay girl sees them nude?
~I want to get expirience and get to know what it's like being out so that I can decide if I want to come out at school.
REASONS TO NOT COME OUT
~I'm currently out to two people at my camp. One was a complete bitch about it, she won't change while I'm in the tent and she clearly feels uncomfortable around me. The other one I told her on the one day over the year that I got to see her besides camp. For that day she seemed pretty much fine with it but it was really to early to tell how she'll react when we're around eachother a lot more.
~People say stuff like "that's so gay" so it seems like people are just as homophobic but embarassed about that.
~no one else is out at the camp, could this be because someone else was out and it didn't go so well?
~It's a Jewish camp, could some people be homophobic for religious reasons?
~I love this camp, I don't want EVERYONE to HATE me. I don't want the camp to be destroyed for me but it's being destroyed by me being in the closet. yippeeeee, i get to choose how to die!!!!!!!
coming out to just a few people won't help because everyone's soooooooo open and that's what's so nice about the camp that the only way to feel even slightly honest/open would be to tell everyone.
If I decide to come out, how should I do it? should I spread rumors, should I just mention it casualy while we're discusing homosexuality, should I say what girls I think are hot when people ask me which boys I find hot, etc?