"Trans" is a frequently used journal topic, but I'm pulling out hair here...

Arthur's picture

'Kay,

I am very well aware that there have been plenty of people to post things such as "Are there any Trans or Trans friendly people out there?" or "Does anyone know where I can find any Trans people?", but at the risk of sounding like a broken record, ARE THERE ANY FTM's OUT THERE??!

I've tried talking to...uh...about three people but I guess they don't come on anymore or don't come on often...that's not bad. I myself don't have a computer (I'm at school right now) so it is difficult for me to access the net.

The stupid sob story of my life is not really anything special. I was born female, and raised as such; but I always felt there was something wrong with this picture, yet could never pinpoint it. When I was in my sophmore year in High School (best years of your life. Heh "Best" is open to interpretation) I met a girl. Wow, big surprise, no? Long story short, we dated/went out/whatever, she dumped me, we're still friends two years later but eh. The thing is, during that time, I thought, "Okay, I like girls...am I lesbian?" It took me a year of toying with that label, turning it different ways, wondering why it still didn't fit, before I could find me. I was reading the book "Luna" by Julie Ann Peters. There's a part in the book when this guy says, "I'm not gay. I'm a girl." That's when it clicked. That's me. But not a guy->girl, Female-to-male.

Don't get me wrong, I read a lot and searched my soul to be sure this is really me. I didn't find something shiny and dive at it. :) I've been using the name Arthur for nearly a year now. Some days are harder than others, though...it's those days I really wish I had someone to talk to who kinda gets what I'm going through...Please.

Comments

my three wheeler rox's picture

..

Well.. I'm not really sure what I am, but after 4 years of labeling myself a lesbian, I'm kinda wondering if I am trans.

Don't apologize for calling me Sir

Don't point you f*%^ing finger at crazy people!

paintthesilence's picture

Right here, FTM. Drop me an

Right here, FTM. Drop me an IM or an email or something if you're having one of those days - I know exactly what you mean about it being cool to have someone to talk to who gets it.
There's actually a fair amount of FTM forums floating around, and LJ Communities if you're on livejournal, too. Either way, feel free to drop me a line sometime if you want. :)

Arthur's picture

Cool

Wow, so ya mean all I had to do was write a slightly angry/wiggin-out journal!

...I don't know what to say.

Uh, tell me a bit about yourself. :D

---Arthur
"It's so hard to get people to understand. It's so easy to be misunderstood because the only words we have can so easily sound ridiculous."--Jamison Green, "Becoming a Visible Man"