Well, today's our 6 month anniversery. R's still in Utah, incommunicado, and I'm left all alone tonight, of all nights, when all I want to do is hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her.
I wonder if she remembers...
The bitter irony, other than the fact that we can't even talk tonight, is that of the last 6 months, we've spent maybe 3 weeks together. What with her mom not letting her date, and her getting shipped off to Utah, most of our time as a couple has been a long distance relationship from 100 yards away. And it fucking sucks!
I know that even if she were here tonight I probably wouldn't've been able to take her out to dinner, but I would have at least liked to have had the chance to tell her than I want to! And even if she is back this weekend (when I'll be in Mendocino...go figure), it still won't be soon enough. It's been 7 and a half weeks since I last heard her voice, and god, I miss her. Like a hole in my heart; like my right arm is missing.
My dad asked a few days ago when she's coming back, and my first repsonce was "Not soon enough." I wish I knew exactly when I could be expecting a call from her; when I should start worrying. Logic dictates that she should be coming back this weekend, becuase next week we have registration for school, but who knows. I'm half expecting to not see or hear from her until the first day of school, in two weeks. Fuck.
Anyway, yeah, I'm back from camping. It was fine. My aunts are pissed at me for no reason, and I was a bitch the entire time. But it was fun to just sit in camp and read and write and watch the birds.