A Modest Proposal

Fox's picture

It seems lately that the country has been more and more divided over homosexuals. There are those, like us, who beleive we should have the same right to marry, and other such rights, and the others who beleive that we're evil, and must be punished, and will later be punished by God. Afterall, clearly we made the choice to be gay, just as they made the choice to be straight. So after much thought over this predicament, while in the shower, I came up with what I think is a modest proposal.

Homosexuals are forced in to marriage, not by law, but by pressure from family, friends, society, and the biological clock. Seeing as how 50% of straight marriages end in divorce, and many that don't end, should end as the two have long since loved each other, and now hate each other with a passion that easily eclipses what ever passion there was between them 20+ years ago, I think condemning homosexuals to this misery would be acceptable by the people who hate us, and we'd be able to marry. Furthermore, straight people would be encouraged not to marry, to be happy, to stay with someone as long as the relationship is to there satisfaction, than encouraged to end it when it no longer pleases them. All parties would be happy until we realized how hard we'd been shafted.

I believe that it's a blessing that we have no pressure to marry, have kids, etc. We can live our lives how we choose, this is something that few straight people can do. Thoughts? Comments? Flames?

jeff's picture


I always thought it would be easier to just remove the 1,000+ tax benefits afforded heterosexual marriage, and let civil unions use the word spouse as that is the term on most of the legal documents where there is issue as far as mortgages, wills, hospital visitation, etc.


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

wilma wonka's picture

but shouldn't we still have the option

Yes it's nice that there's less preasure for gays to get married but shouldn't we still have the option if we want to get married? I also think that allowing gay marriage is an important step towards fully aknowledging that gays can and do have real relationships that are comparable to heterosexual relationships. It's an intresting idea though.

"gay: cheerful and lighthearted; merry." - The American Heritage Dictionary.

jeff's picture


Why do you need a legal document to consider yourself married? And, why do you need gay marriage to prove you can have a real relationship?

I don't need the government to justify or approve of any aspect of my life. I'm not against gay marriage, just think it is giving too much power to the institution, as though without legally being bound to someone, you'd just get to leave them easier or somesuch.


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

shadow fire's picture

One word "Equality"

Its important that we are allowed to Marry, not just for us, but for equality in general. Can you imagine how pissed off African Americans would be if they were not allowed to Marry? We don't need a piece of paper to acknowledge our relationships, but we deserve every right Heterosexuals are offered.

Disney's picture

I honestly don't think that

I honestly don't think that we need 'marriage' per say, having the same RIGHTS as married couples are entitled to is what I feel we need. Marriage is an upgrade to a civil union... gay marriage should be called something else, have the same tax 'benefits'/conditional things attached and not involve the blessing of God unless that arm of the church/religion wants to give it.

I can understand gay couples wanting the acknowledgment of their love and we all want equality but IMO it's unnecessary to want the blessing of a church that has millions of followers who consider you the devil's work.

I'd like to see that acknowledgment that we're really human beings but the church can say that gays aren't evil and sure to burn in hell and we can have the same thing as marriage sans God's blessing and everyone can be quite content.

For the record, I really really really don't think that any Bible thumper would want gays to be able to marry even though marriage has lots of downsides.

The problem with gay vs. straight unions isn't the ability to BE with someone you love (although in some countries we're killed off, so that's another topic), rather it's the question of what CIVIL RIGHTS are relegated to the union. I'm sure a lot of people like God's influence on the ceremony/union too but I'd wag my finger at any gay Roman Catholic. How can you have faith in something that proclaims you as being all-out sin? Why would God allow so many wrongdoings over the course of human history? Why does the Church pop out with so much hypocrisy and propaganda while the Bible is still unrealized by millions to be an OUTDATED book with *some* moral grounds but mostly examples of unjust cruelty from ancient times? Tirade mmm.

jeff's picture

The real problem is that...

Society (at least in the US) has blurred the lines here, linking a civil act with a religious one. Such as, you need a marriage license from the state, but someone who officiates the ceremony has to sign the license, even if it is done in a non-religious service in City Hall.

Whereas, and Europeans correct me if I'm wrong, in much of Europe I believe when you go to get your marriage license from the government authority, as far as the government is concerned at that point, you're married irregardless of having any additional ceremony. It is purely paperwork, without ceremony, keeping both halves of the equation in check.

By fighting for gay marriage, we are only fighting for the civil half, not the religious half. Although, you would think if they already believe in a man in the sky, they'd be the easier side to convince, no?


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!