i don't know anymore.

Anneliese's picture

Let me start out by saying that I'm very new to all of this... I've been lurking with curiosity for about a year, but after last month, I'm not sure I can be quiet much longer.

Two Septembers ago in my sophomore year, I met a girl, an absolutely beautiful (and very straight) girl who came into my life and changed me. I had just been through a suicidal depression, and she brought me back to emotional stability single-handedly. Of course, she had no idea how much she began to mean to me. Every touch gave me chills, every time we said "I love you," I interpreted it beyond the intended boundary. We were best friends, and became closer than two girls could be without being a couple.. which I knew was impossible. The physical intensity of our relationship was unbelievable.

Of course, that also meant that our "breakup" (for lack of a better term) was just as intense. Last month I came out to her. Just as I said it, she hung up the phone and never spoke to me again. Because I gave all of my time and effort to her, I'm completely lost, alone, and confused. I don't know if I still have anyone to consider a friend, anyone to support me the way she did. I don't even know if I can survive (or make myself survive) this. She was the first person I came out to, and she took it horribly. If my "best friend" would leave me because of this, what will other people do? Can I trust anyone? I'm a mess right now.
I need to move on. I need someone to trust. I can't stay like this. Any advice on how?

milk-tea's picture

you know.....she may be

you know.....she may be scared. maybe she realised the feelings she felt for you the moment you came out to her. and she is now possibly in denial?
im sorry. i dont know the situation very well, but believe it or not, the situation i listed above happens quite often.

"society is crumbling faster than an Oreo cookie being run over by a turqouise freight train."

Icarus's picture

wow.....there's definitely

wow.....there's definitely something going on with her. if you feel comfortable with it, try talking to her again. if not, try your parents, if they're open to homosexuality. depending on where you live, i'm sure your other friends can be very understanding. don't let one bad experience get in the way of being who you are.

"Yes! No! Oh, damn!"

ChicaLover's picture

that sounds an amazingly

that sounds an amazingly similar to what happened to me. But certain things get easier when you get older, certain things like this. More than likely she will come around eventually, and things will be like they were before if not then prolly something better. Although if they don't, you can't hang on to it like that fat guy in Chuck And Larry.(No insult meant by the way) If it turns out that she can't accept it then it turns out that she wasn't worth. Just be thankful no matter what happens, be happy that now you know what your sexuality is. If a bad experience leads to a good life then so be it.