Letter to a Fortress of Denial

apuffalogic's picture


Dad over here wanted to have a talk with me. You know. A gay talk.

Personally, I despise interactions with my parents. I mean, really, they don't need me after the first thirty seconds, because after that I've said everything significant, and all that follows comprises entirely of them trying to forget it.

Luckily, this time around, my mom forewarned me.
This gave me time to prepare my argument.
In the end, though, I realized that this would be futile. Any argument, be it valid or otherwise, is lost on my parents somewhere between the ear and the brain.

So, instead of giving them the chance to actually argue, I decided to write a definitively unarguable note. This note listed responses to the disappointingly predictable parental questions that my dad was bound to ask me, in hopes that this would answer most of his questions and avert one of those aforementioned "discussions".

This note contained:
Reassurances that I won't "spout out" about it, and the mere fact that they thought they had to tell me not to was an insult to my intelligence.

A warning to, in further discussions, avoid saying things more than once, and that monotonous transparental reiterations affected nothing except my hearing.

Repeated assurances that I would "keep an open mind" about the thing, even though I have been for the last three years, and that I realized that they were only concerned for my safety.

And a whole bunch of other, minor things.

He wrote back. He gave me:
Warnings not to "spout out" about it.

Countless monotonous, transparental reiterations.

Advice to "keep an open mind" about the thing, because, apparently, the last three years wasn't good enough. He also told me about how much they were just looking out for my safety.

The minor things were just all contradicted.
And, oh yes, he expressed wishes for a discussion.

Gee, thanks for listening to me, pop.


utter_insanity's picture

Ugh, that completely sucks.

Ugh, that completely sucks. I hate it when parents won't listen and just reiterate the same points, over and over again. My mom's done that occasionally. She's getting better about it, though. Hopefully your dad will do the same ASAP.

"Women in rubber will ALWAYS be flirting with me!" --Maureen in the musical RENT

nydolls1973's picture

What points are they

What points are they reiterating?
You see, that's why I say anything to AVOID these discussions!
et après tu chantes pour les saisons, tu chantes à toi-même
tu danses dans l’aube quand le soleil se lève

5thstory's picture

Parents...just give them

Parents...just give them some time, and they'll get over the trauma. And discussions? avoiding them is good in the short-term, but (after they get over the 'think about it' stage) they are so necessary with everything. After all, they've been here longer, and they are still alive (and functional) for a reason.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

jeff's picture


Start asking them not to spout off about their heterosexuality, which probably comes up more than yours.

After you see a movie, ask your Dad if he had to, would he sleep with johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom? When he looks at you like you're crazy, remind him to keep an open mind.

Use their rules against them.

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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