No sure...

Ambrosia Shadow's picture

I need help. I'm not sure if i'm a lesbian or not. I never have been attracted to boys and I have noticed other girls more that once but I'm not sure why I notice them or if this makes me a lesbian. I have talked to my parents about this already and they said they are fine with me either way. I'm also only 13 so I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian of if my horomones just haven't hit me yet. I could really use some Advice if you have some. Thank you for your time.

nydolls1973's picture

you're only 13 so don't even

you're only 13 so don't even try to figure it out now.
Although I must say everyone I heard from said they first knew around that age so you never know.
o how it hurt me sharp in the vein
it would never let me be still and still.

ForeverEndedToday's picture

I don't think you're too

I don't think you're too young, I can use myself as an example. I was 12 when I started questioning, 13 when I came out to everybody, and here I am 14 and still a lesbian lol sorry couldn't resist

This sounds so stupid but just try not to think about it. It's a lot easier if you just go with the flow and don't think about whether or not it's a girl you're crushing on or a boy.

What helped for me was reading coming out stories. You can compare how you're feeling to other people who have already identified themselves as GLBT and read their struggles. Here is a website with hundreds

You can also share how you're feeling here on oasis and get all that stuff out that's been bothering you. For me it's nice to know that there are other people who have been through the same stuff that I've gone through and will go through in the future. If you ever need to talk feel free to Private message or IM me.
I travel 'round the block
And I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
And I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this

Cleopatra's picture

Try observing what's going

Try observing what's going on first; I mean, survey who you like (girls more, or guys more, or both), and see how you react to both of them (ex: when you talk to them, do you feel something in a particular in girls/guys more than the other one or some things like that). if you have established who you like more as a potential lover/partner (unlike me.haha), then you can give yourself a label: straight/gay/bisexual. I've started having some flings when i was 10 (yeah, believe it or not. it was a puppy love. hahaha) and up to now, when i'll be turning 18 in weeks time, i still am questioning. that's because as of now i wouldnt want to label myself yet; you may not want to follow in my footsteps but you can try my tip ;)

The statement below false.
The statement above is true.

haNa's picture


you are young, so that's something to keep in mind.

but really there is no need to label yourself, ever. If you're not sure don't make yourself commit to something. If you're attracted to someone, let yourself be. Don't fight your feelings, they're beautiful. Just go with the flow and love yourself, who ever you are.

There is no reason at all to worry about what your sexual orientation is. You'll figure it out in time. Don't rush anything.


Anneliese's picture

It was THE SAME way with

It was THE SAME way with me... started at about age 10. I had major crushes on all of my girl friends and never seemed to be interested in guys AT ALL. I never really thought about that period thinking it was strange or anything. I would be sitting at the movies drooling over the female characters, never seeing how "amazingly sexy" Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp apparently were. But i never thought anything of it. In fact, I
believed i was straight for the next 5 years before finally accepting that i was a lesbian - it's a long story. So what I'm saying is.. don't think about it too much right now, but don't try to hide your feelings either. You might find out somewhere along the line that you ARE straight or bisexual and not necessarily a lesbian. Give it time. Good luck!

Lyddie's picture

Don't worry too much.

Really, in a way, it doesn't matter. You don't need to make a clear assessment right now, and set it in stone- you've got your whole life ahead of you to learn about yourself. I knew something was probably up when I was your age, but it took me until I was 18 to figure it out.

And, no matter whether you're straight or gay or any of the plethera of amazing ways and shapes humans grow into, you're still you. The fact that you're 'You' is most important of all. (And that sounds sort of cliché or something, I'm sure, but it's true. Things often sound cliché because people say them a lot because they're *true.*)

I think that accepting yourself- and even accepting the fact that you're not quite so sure what's true for you yet- is a really good idea. Perhaps you already do accept all that- that's super cool. And remember that you don't have to prove anything to anyone- you don't need to prove you're gay or straight or anything. You are what you are.

So... Yeah. Don't worry too much.

whateversexual_llama's picture

Sexuality develops, gay or

Sexuality develops, gay or straight. The problem is in our society you're required to have a lable. But what everyone NEEDS to do is just roll with it. Learn from it. Go from there. You don't need a label.

Be yourself. 'Cause if you're busy being somebody else, who's gonna be you?

perple's picture


I'm the same story. I've fooled myself since I've been born, and I don't really have any crushes on girls, but it's obvious to me I'd go out with one. I kinda realized that after remembering I liked kissing one of my shool friends once. I figure don't put a label on it, because then you're giving other people the reigns to stereotype you.

bulldyke's picture

Maybe you're gay, maybe

Maybe you're gay, maybe you're bi, maybe you're straight and maybe you're just not attracted to anyone right now.

I agree with whateversexual_llama. Lables are used a bit too much in our society, as are boxes. If you're not attracted to anyone, really, then you're just not attracted to anyone. When you find someone who makes your heart pound and your body melt, go with it. If it's a girl, great, if it's a guy, wonderful. The word doesn't matter.

But you're questioning, which means that you're thinking about it, which is good. Gay or straight or bi, we should all think about what our sexuality means for us as individuals. :D

Best of luck.

"this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart" e.e. cummings