Should I explore woman?

shadow fire's picture

So I'm living with my aunt/uncle for a week while I work at my aunts art camp. And while having dinner my uncle casually said "So, I hear from facebook that your gay" I'm very angry at myself at this point because I just froze...anything he said past that point I basically just nodded/agreed "Are you comfortable talking about this?" *nod/agree* and he said a couple other things that seemed to hint that I chose to be gay *sigh* *Nods/agrees* But the thing that I'm asking about is that my uncle said when he was younger he experimented with a ton of guys/girls (It was like the 60s or something, the peace/love era) and he says I shouldn't block myself off to girls not that I say I'm gay, he thinks I should have sex with a girl *sigh* *nod/agree* But I'm completely disgusted by vagina (no offense to all you lovely lesbians reading this) he sort of sounds like hes making sense, but vagina is just so.....bleck. He also seems to think I can't really know I'm gay if I haven't tried Vagina before (Bleck, I just said "tried" and "vagina" in the same sentence) What do you guys think I should do? My uncles a really intelligent guy, and hes not speaking from a hypocritical point of view because he has had gay sex, but at the same time I'm also thinking that it might be a bit easier for a guy to have sex with a guy because well, you've seen a dick a thousand times but for me+pussy its just.....bleck.

What do you guys/gals think?

bulldyke's picture

Hey, I know exactly what you

Hey, I know exactly what you mean. I'm totally not into guys, or penis, if you want to get down and dirty. But being gay is more than just about sex. It's about the person, or people, you fall in love with.

The first person I came out to (who's wise in her own special way) said to me "That's great. But don't feel like you have to be gay." Keep in mind that I was only just barely 13 at the time.

So, my advise to you is: If you find yourself attracted to a woman/girl, don't feel ashamed, or 'ungay'. Go for it. But don't seek out something you don't want.

Your uncle is probably bi, by the way. Most people are at least a bit. He just swings more toward women, which is fine. Kinda like my mom. She's been minorly attracted to women in the past, but she's more comfortable with men (and thus, I was born. lol)

Bulldyke
"I prefer the term gay because, well, lesbian has three syllables!" Emily Sailers, 1/2 of the Indigo Girls (duh)

98 percent of the teenage population will try, does, or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy

joemondragon's picture

You are the only one who

You are the only one who knows who you are. If you find vagina "bleck", then you find it "bleck". Your uncle may be smart, but he should let you define yourself. He obviously doesn't find vagina "bleck" like you do, or he wouldn't have a wife. Basically, you do and think what you feel is right. If you think vagina is bleck, then you have no obligation to "try it".

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris

Lol-taire's picture

'exploring' women

We're not Everest darling, you shouldn't do us just because we're there

Anyway, I think your uncle was doing a bit of boasting about being a bit of a flower-power Cassanova, rather than simply acting as disinterested sage doling out advice to his little nephew.

bulldyke's picture

Well put!

I love how you said that! Very well put! :D

Bulldyke
"I prefer the term gay because, well, lesbian has three syllables!" Emily Sailers, 1/2 of the Indigo Girls (duh)

98 percent of the teenage population will try, does, or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy

jojojo's picture

yep.

I second Lol-taire.

Besides, if you don't feel attracted to women, there's no reason why you should "explore" any of them (us).

We have all been injured, profoundly. (Donna Haraway)
I Am Out, Therefore I Am. (Okay, mostly.)

gaynow's picture

Just because your uncle's bi

Just because your uncle's bi or whatever doesn't mean you are. I agree 100% with Bulldyke, and with everyone else. Don't write it off if you get an attraction to a girl--sexuality is really fluid, and you could become straighter later in life (hehe, it rhymes... er, sorry) or just fall for one girl. So, don't deny it if it comes to you, on the grounds that "I'm gay, so it's nothing," but don't don't DON'T feel obligated to seek it out and get yourself into a really uncomfortable position because of stupid people who think you need to see both sides of the coin to make your decision.

...........................and don't you go dissing vaginas, now. I love my vagina. *bitchslaps* You can take your ugly, icky penis and just.... blarghemfoandmfl.

^^

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

Orah's picture

Agreed with Lol-taire. If

Agreed with Lol-taire. If you find yourself attracted to a women, then maybe you should go for it but, don't just go sleep with a girl because you haven't done it before. It's not fair to her or you.

dykehalo's picture

i totaly agree with

i totaly agree with gay-now... just let yourself be who you are. If your gay then you are and theres not way you can change that but if later on in life you fall for a girl then you do no big deal...
I feel that being gay is all about letting yourself love whoever you want guy or girl so if your attracted to guys now fine and you happend to fall for just one girl latter on.. fine.
You don't need to see the other side to know you are apart of this one.
~~~Fear is only a verb if you let it be.. don't you dare let go of my hand~~~

rowie's picture

if you are gay there is no

if you are gay there is no need to sleep with a girl to prove it to anyone. if in time you realise you WANT to sleep with a girl then do it but it doesnt sound like thats whats going on to me.

--i used to be a tomboy, now im a full grown lesbian--

**you must be the change you wish to see in the world**

Neutrina's picture

If you know enough about it

If you know enough about it to find it "bleck"...you know enough.

"She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for"
-The Click Five "Just the Girl"

patnelsonchilds's picture

My mother made me try

My mother made me try pickled beets once. I knew that I didn't like pickled beets, but I tried them anyway because she insisted that I couldn't know that I didn't like them until I tried them. Now not only do I still not like pickled beets - I deelply resent them.

Just say no to pickled beets. Spare yourself a traumatic experience.

_________________________________
Please visit my Myspace Profile and add me as a friend.
_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

duchess_madly's picture

well put! i totally agree.

well put! i totally agree. my mom said that i shouldn't write off boys, and that i should try dating one. i nodded and agreed.

let's just say i haven't been tempted so far. (no offense to the lovely gay boys :] ). Penis just isn't my bag of chips.

Riku's picture

I pretty much agree with

I pretty much agree with everyone else here. besides, if you have sex with a woman just to prove that you're gay, that's not fair to either of you.

Does your uncle tell his straight nephews to "try a man" before they say that they're straight? I bet not.

And besides, sex isn't the only defining element of gayness. I don't know why people act like you can't say that you're gay until you've had sex or something.

Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. *nod*

Oh, and FYI. Us "lovely lesbians" think that dick is bleck. (MAJOR bleck!) So it's mutual. XD

dykehalo's picture

dick is bleck.. it's

dick is bleck.. it's gross.
~~~Fear is only a verb if you let it be.. don't you dare let go of my hand~~~

milee13's picture

I say that to my straight

I say that to my straight male friends (well, something similar anyway)....

milee13's picture

Sometimes the best thing to

Sometimes the best thing to do in those situations is just smile and nod.

But...seriously, if the very idea of being that close to VAGINA makes you uncomfortable...then just say no and go with what you are comfortable with.

You're not blocking yourself off, that's a load of crap, it's more that you're acknowledging what you like and...weeding out what you don't. If, at some point you end up thinking, 'wow, now that's some nice vagina right there!' there's nothing wrong with that--but you don't need to go out and sleep with a chick and test the waters right now.

Reminds me of conversations with my mother, she's never outright said that I should 'embrace penis' but she's made it very clear that she feels being a lesbian was a conscious choice on my part and I'm pretty sure she thinks it's just a phase--I'm almost 20, I've never wanted to have anything beyond friendship with males, most of my male friends are gay, I don't think it's a phase and I don't think I'm missing out on anything (no offense).

But...the FaceBook told him? Lol. One of my best friends got outed on the FaceBook, that was a real mess.

jeff's picture

Hmm...

Seems simplistic to think it is about genitals, no?

I don't think I'm gay because of vaginal ickiness, or penile attraction. Nor do I think anything is gross merely because I don't like it.

A bit silly, no?

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

dykehalo's picture

Yeh it's silly but hey we're

Yeh it's silly but hey we're teens.. and i don't like dick so i call it gross.. not gross like eww lets puke just yuck/ugh.. don't like it...
~~~Fear is only a verb if you let it be.. don't you dare let go of my hand~~~

gaynow's picture

Well, love/relationship

Well, love/relationship isn't about the ickyness/attractiveness of the genitals in question.

.....but sex is. And that's what he's "supposed" to try. So it is sort an issue of the genitals.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

shadow fire's picture

Thank you all for your

Thank you all for your input. Sorry for the wait, I've been at my uncles/aunts where I had a blast. I think what my uncle was getting at is just to not narrow my visian because of how I label myself as gay.