the ghost's picture

Well I spent the past two days with my sister,just her and me,and I still didn't tell her I'm gay.I'm semi mad at myself for it,but at the same time something just didn't feel right to say it.She seemed a little distant or something,I can't quite put my finger on what it was.It has been over a month since I've seen her because she works away from home a lot,and this weekend was the first weekend we both had time to hang out together in ages.It was the weekend I had been waiting for to talk to her.But somehow I just couldn't find the right time.Normally the conversation steers around to something involving releationships,which would be a good time to say it.Maybe I am just making excuses to myself.She did ask if I thought there was any hot guys where I work.But I just said no,and kind of looked away because I was almost going to say it and then I didn't.When I was answering her my voice went all weak and weird,you know when you know you are sort of lying about something and the tone changes.It was kind of weird I don't know if she noticed it.

I am not sure why I just couldn't say it.I feel like I have got to the point in my head where it really isn't a big deal for me anymore.Like I feel more secure about it.But maybe I am just fooling myself because if I was that secure about it then I wouldn't still be hiding it.I actually do have a really accepting group of friends,but I still can't seem to tell them.I think I feel weird about telling them before my family and I'm just finding it more difficult to tell my family.So I'm kind of stuck in a loop.I'm too scared to tell my family and so don't feel I can tell my friends.


patnelsonchilds's picture

You'll get there eventually.

You'll get there eventually. If you really want to come out, just pick a friend or family member and make coming out to them your mission. It doesn't matter which you come out to first. Most people come out to their friends before their family anyway. Once you have come out to one person, each additional person becomes easier.

Please visit my Myspace Profile and add me as a friend.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

jeff's picture


just send me your sister's e-mail address. I'll do it for you.

Also, I can ask on your facebook profile if you told your friends you were gay this weekend, like you planned.

You name it, I'm here for you. :-)

See... easy!


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

jeff's picture


I don't know of many cases where family was told before friends. My experience is it is almost always the reverse.


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

the ghost's picture

Haha thanks Jeff.I am

Haha thanks Jeff.I am actually just considering sending an email to just get it over with.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

duchess_madly's picture

Actually I came out to my

Actually I came out to my family first.. it wasn't so bad. The only thing is I haven't come out to my brother or sister because they're still pretty young.

The whole thing is about being ready.. For me, it just happened subconsciously and my mind just knew it was time to tell my parents. But if you're close to your sister it'll probably be easier.

Good Luck!!

Lol-taire's picture

Stop torturing yourself, you

Stop torturing yourself, you poor thing. You might as well email her if it will kill the suspense. Getting the damn words out is the hardest thing in the world face to face- I got my mum to tell my dad and my best friend to tell my other two best friends. It's not a game, so it's not like it's cheating; no-one going to throw the board over if you'd prefer to avoid the big confession thing. Do what works for you, when you're ready to.

So other than all this, how are you? I haven't seen you journalifying for a while.

the ghost's picture


Thanks for the advice.It is really bordering on obsessive the amount of time I spend worrying about just getting it out in the open.
Otherwise things are good.I've been to lazy to journalize lately I'm ashamed to admit!I've just been lurking on here keeping up with everyone else=]

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

ForeverEndedToday's picture

Take your time. Coming out

Take your time. Coming out is really hard and the words are really hard to get off the tip of your tongue. But once the first word is out it is really easy after that. Take a couple deep breaths, and start the sentence. If you can't do it in person, do it another way, through email or on the phone. Just make sure you do it yourself. One of the things I regret most about my coming out experience was having my step mom tell my sister so I wouldn't have to. Good luck!
I travel 'round the block
And I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
And I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this