I honest to god never thought that life could feel this good. Not once did I imagine that I could be this happy.
And yes, in part it's because of R (a big part), but it's more than that. Even though things aren't great, I still feel good. I'm not depressed; I'm not down; I'm getting enough sleep. It's like I'm waking up after this three month long storm to find the sun shining again.
God, she is so beautiful. And just...how she looks at me! I never thought I'd meet anyone who would undress me with their eyes...and so much more. Our gentle flirting, the long glances when I fall into her eyes, the way she treats me special. It's so wonderful.
The way she smiles at me...how her eyes just melt into my soul and light it up like New Year's Eve. God, leaving her this afternoon, well, it wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done, but it sure wasn't the easiest. She didn't even move from where she was sitting, but her eyes!
And it's fun to be with her! FUN!!! Fun to watch her interact with other people; fun to joke with her, and tease her. Fun to talk about music, and books. Fun to laugh with her and see her smile. Fun to just talk.
Today during lunch, we were on the same couch (much to my delight), while Ethan got flirted with by this girl who he doesn't like (which was really funny). Anyway, the three of them were all tussling (which was fun to watch), so R changed possition a lot. We wound up with our legs sorta tangled...it was just natural. I mean, yeah, there are times when all I want to do is kiss her, but just being with her is enough. It's...I have no idea how to describe it.
I love our gentle flirting; how I know that she loves me. I love how we both make excuses to spend time with eachother. I love how we're...so in love, but we're just friends. there are no words to describe how wonderful i feel when she's around, or when i think of her. i relax when i'm with her; i can feel the tension leave my body. and yes, there are times when the air possitively hums with energy between us, and every time i touch her i feel like i've been shocked, but we're so relaxed with eachother.
i'm so in love!
Sorry if that made you sick with glucose poisening...