peanut_gallery's picture

Basically, I realized at homecoming that I'm just not into guys. I get this realization every couple months... I'm still working on the proud part of 'out and proud'.

I figured this out by dancing with this random guy. Apparently we knew each other in fifth grade. All of us here know what dancing really means- grinding pelvises incessantly. In this case, not only did I do that, but I went back for more and made out with him a few times. He wanted me to give him a handjob; when I said no he asked if he could finger me. No thanks! Penis... no. Male-ness... no.

The entire ordeal made me realize that boys just don't work for me. I know he wanted more, but the entire time I didn't feel anything. I explained the whole situation to an understanding guy friend of mine. He said that he understood, but I should stop going through this every couple of months and just accept it. I agreed.

Then, since he's a horny bastard, I danced with him too. I actually felt okay about it because he knows I'm not into guys and didn't try to go farther than I wanted.

In other, more exciting news: my crush talked with me! She asked if I was going to the afterparty, but I said I couldn't because my dad was picking me up. She looked kind of sad to hear it, which made me happy. I like her a lot.

All in all, it was a good night. I had fun dancing, I had fun at dinner, and I realized that I need to stop trying to be hetero once and for all. If anybody is still reading this, please tell me exactly how much I need to stop. Maybe if someone slaps me in the face with it I'll start to listen. I need it.


jeff's picture


Do I have this backwards... umm, doesn't fingering rank higher on the intimacy level than a handjob (which would make sense since getting a guy to let you do anything to his penis is simple)?

Just seems pretty ballsy/clueless to want fingering as a handjob fallback.

Eventually your failed heterosexuality will get tiresome and you'll stop. Why do you have to remind yourself you're not into guys? Seems you'd just focus on girls and that issue wouldn't keep coming up, no?


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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the_loser's picture

Maybe you still need to

Maybe you still need to figure out what you really want, unless you're for sure for sure not into guys period, but I know nothing.

gaynow's picture

Stop trying to be het!

Stop trying to be het! *slaps* In all seriousness, though, don't force yourself to be attracted to men. Sexuality is pretty fluid, so don't deny it if you are attracted to a man in future, but you don't owe it to anyone to be attracted to men. If you find them icky, then you find them icky, and you don't need to constantly remind yourself of that. If it changes, it'll change, and you'll know. Until then, just let it be and be happy with beautiful women ^^

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
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