Basically, I realized at homecoming that I'm just not into guys. I get this realization every couple months... I'm still working on the proud part of 'out and proud'.
I figured this out by dancing with this random guy. Apparently we knew each other in fifth grade. All of us here know what dancing really means- grinding pelvises incessantly. In this case, not only did I do that, but I went back for more and made out with him a few times. He wanted me to give him a handjob; when I said no he asked if he could finger me. No thanks! Penis... no. Male-ness... no.
The entire ordeal made me realize that boys just don't work for me. I know he wanted more, but the entire time I didn't feel anything. I explained the whole situation to an understanding guy friend of mine. He said that he understood, but I should stop going through this every couple of months and just accept it. I agreed.
Then, since he's a horny bastard, I danced with him too. I actually felt okay about it because he knows I'm not into guys and didn't try to go farther than I wanted.
In other, more exciting news: my crush talked with me! She asked if I was going to the afterparty, but I said I couldn't because my dad was picking me up. She looked kind of sad to hear it, which made me happy. I like her a lot.
All in all, it was a good night. I had fun dancing, I had fun at dinner, and I realized that I need to stop trying to be hetero once and for all. If anybody is still reading this, please tell me exactly how much I need to stop. Maybe if someone slaps me in the face with it I'll start to listen. I need it.