a lot of times i wonder why am i this way? (why am i gay) an a lot of times i come with the conclusion that i was meant to be this way, and that i should be happy being like this..
but for some reason, i am happy at times but at others i feel so sad for being someone my family (well some of them) didn't want me to end up being..
and i know its harder to be gay than to be straight and i ain't exactly having an easy life right now and being gay doesn't really help the situation.
i feel like i have this empty space in my heart that needs to be filled, and friends just don't seem to take up that space- even family.. i know that to be happy and to enjoy being this way i have to find someone who really loves me and can show me that..
i've given love many times but i never received it in the way i need it (which is relationship wise) i've fallen for people way to many times and all i end up getting is a broken heart.. and the people that do really love me, that do really fall for me- are to far away to even work out..
and right now i really don't know what to do anymore..
and i don't know how much more times i can take getting hurt.