Yes, the news is in. Last night I was at a work event and there were 40-70 other people there, a lot around my age. I had to say some things in front of the group and it all went fine, but I actually didn't know many of the people there at all.
There was this one guy that literally caught my eye within 15 seconds of entering the room... he had/has dark brown hair that was gellled up, piercing blue eyes, fine enough tan skin, perfect upper teeth, slightly crooked lower teeth. Good modelesque bone structure, not too thin but not anywhere near baby fat. He wasn't unfit or muscular, I'd just say 'fit'! He was about my height, 5"9. Nice to look at, but not spectacular. But haha I'm ok with stating that.
Anyway, within a few moments of walking into the room where this gathering was happening, I look around and he's totally staring at me! I literally looked behind/near me to see WHO he was staring at (I wasn't toooo obvious though!) and looked back towards him to realize he was indeed staring me down. After a second I smiled, started to make my way towards him, he smiled, and then I got bombarded by a few people I DID know!
I didn't manage to talk to him at all really, but I did get to introduce myself to him and we shook hands and I swear there was a spark, and he maintained eye contact through everything EXCEPT when we shook hands and both looked at them and smiled and it was completely cheesy! The friendlies I had at this grouping kept sweeping me up and I met other nifty people, no alcohol was served haha.
To make a long story short (too late?), by the end of the evening everything was fine and I was much more at ease and when it came time to leave, everyone started getting up, the aforementioned boy was sitting down and fiddling with a water bottle and staring at me so I just found a way to stick around for a bit longer talking to a random.
A handful of people were left and I had to get going or my ride might've gotten mad, so I said bye bye to the random and walked out. 'Okay,' I think, 'lovely eye-boy isn't going to say good-bye?' This is as I'm exiting and my peripheral vision must've been dazed by him because next thing I know, as I'm (I typed WE but that would've ruined the suspense, yay) in the hallway almost to the exit doors, I feel a tap on my shoulder!
I may have made my most graceful/comely turn in my life, I recall it very vividly right now and it was excellent hahaha! Anyway, it's my lovely boy! Duh! Now, this is within 24 hours of me coming out to another coworker and I'm lifted up from the good words at this get together and pretty open to whatever he has to say... or I would've been almost ready to blurt: 'You have pretty eyes!'
Well, this boy says it was a pleasure to meet me, etc. etc., basically tries to initiate conversational small talk but I really did have to go, and I was edging towards exchanging numbers, just as HE was! My friend who was to give me the drive pounds through the exit and we both hear someone coming and I whirl and tell her I'm COMING and lovely boy laughs and slings his arm around my right shoulder and says it's his fault and we'll be just a minute.
Friend buys it, is exasperated, says she'll wait a few more minutes and dashes out. I turn around to lovely boy who still has his arm on my shoulder (a bit retracted now because of the turn) and apologize and tell him we should see each other soon. He says he'd like that and he asks if I have a pen, I goddamn don't and he laughs when he has none too. Lovely laugh too, lmao. Now here comes the kicker.
We're both beaming at each other, staring at each other and his eyes shift in some way and I completely sense what's coming and tell him I have to go, and he says he hopes he's not being too forward but can't wait for the next time we see each other. I grin like a moron and say I can't wait either, hope he has a great night etc. etc., I'm about to turn and sprint out, he lightly pecks my cheek SUUUUPER fast but chillingly softly and deliciously and O-M-G I want more right now.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That is me mentally screaming! So I smile back at him after he's done this, he isn't smiling but his mouth is sort of firm and rigged and uplifted at the corners and I can tell he's glad but also worried and concerned and maybe regretting it, but I say half-stupidly and half whisperdly mostly idiotically-sounding... 'Thanks'.
And then I briskly walk out to the doors which somehow got closer to us and get driven home and O-M-G I want another side-kiss and I reaaaaaaaally wanted to ask about this guy in the car on the way home (more than my friend and I in the car) but I couldn't work it in and despite what had happened I didn't want to seem gay and crushy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So that was definitely the most intentional sexual contact I've had with a boy today. What a lovely boy. I hope he isn't flying away or moving elsewhere... I was reflecting on it and I've always known I'd kiss someone if I knew I'd never see them again but was attracted to them.
Wow just wow. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That kiss might've made these years of being closeted and different worth it. Maybe. One on the lips probably would...