Morning/Mourning...

ReinbowGrl's picture

I woke up this morning and just layed in the sunshine...I've been having odd dreams. I don't usually remember my dreams and when I do...usually it's a little too realistic and is more than slightly prophetic...

So far, the days aren't easier...Months from now, I don't want to be a mess like this...I know that it's immature for me to say that people should stop dying. But at the moment...thats how I feel...I'm still just a bit too quiet and slow to smile at all the wrong moments...I miss her...So I know what happened now...With my friend Pat...how she died...She was doing chores...fell down the stairs and miscarriaged her baby and died a few hours later of internal bleeding. It wasn't drugs or illness that killed her, and at one point, I had told her that I was done talking to her until she cleaned up. So she did. She got clean and got on the medication for HIV/AIDs and started taking care of herself. She was engaged and due with her first child in a few months...She had gotten her second chance...Why is it that the people who deserve more time, never get it?

I'm tired of attending funerals...And the morbid thing is that I know there will be atleast another one this year...
- - -
This girl that I'm in love with...Didn't treat me badly...I was the bad one...and now...I'm the lonely one...Twisted isn't it?