torn

darla07's picture

i just feel torn lately with all the drama thats been going on with my gf and her ex whos my friend. i either have to devote my time to one or the other either way one of them is mad at me. i have know jesse and sarah since elementary school when we all hung out together now seven yrs later the three of us can't even be in the same room together. i know that the fighting between jesse and sarah isn't just about me,i know it has something to do with their history together,i just don't know why their going after each other so hard.

i went to jesse's last night and she barely said two words to me the entire time i was there we just sat in kitchen in silence. i don't see how it is that she can be angry at me when she's the one who's been acting out. but just as soon as my cell phone rings and jesse realizes that its sarah she wants to start talking,i don't get it. sarah wanted me to come over whenever i left jesse's. when i got ready to leave jesse didn't even say goodbye me,she didn't even look at me.

so when i arrived to sarah's she said she wanted to talk. sarah said she doesn't want me to feel bad for whats going on between her and jesse, that they have unresolved issues that need to get out into the open. she says that jesse doesn't know what she wants or who she wants and that i should be careful so i don't end up hurt like i did last year.while we were talking sarah asked me if jesse hadn't moved back would we still be dating? then she kissed me and since we were sitting on the floor i scooted away from her. why must things be so complicated. there's jesse who i care about almost but don't trust,then there's sarah who i trust but don't know all that well. i am torn between my gf who won't talk to me because she's fighting about something with her ex who's my friend.

the two of them are going to drive me insane. i have to admit though kissing sarah even if it was just for a second felt right,not safe,but right totally different from kissing jesse which is safe and familiar but not always right. alright i need to stop comparing jesse and sarah,although jesse as bad as she is makes me feel good and free,while sarah who is a good person makes me feel.....normal. anyway i'm just torn and i can tell whatever decision i make someone is going to get hurt.