I haven't posted here for some time for no particular reason. I think when I first came to Oasis it was as a closeted 18 year old and now, here I am, more out than Jack McFarland and just turned 20 (Nov 2nd).
Despite the progress my life has made in respect to my sexuality my emancipation hasn't been all it's cracked up to be. I apologise in advance by the way as from this point on, despite my age, this is going to inevitably turn into one of those weepy teenage angst ridden journal entries about unrequited love.
And, in that short apology, I've pretty much told my story. I'll elaborate though. Something happened to me I had given up hope of ever happening - I fell for someone. Completely out of the blue. Sort of. I agreed to meet someone I knew online in London. Had such a lovely day together, both felt like we knew each other for a longer period than we actually had. Totally comfortable with each other. Completely romantic day! As usual I tried to maintain a level head, not getting too carried away, etc etc, but I just couldn't help how I felt - and I'd never felt like it before. Now, this guy doesn't live near London he lives in the midlands which is a good couple hours away by train. And we both agreed not to do the long distance relationship thing because... well it just sucks, usually. So 2 weeks later he has a boyfriend from his area. Why do I feel so shit about that? We weren't in a relationship or anything, yet I'm totally envious of this guy. It's really upset me, and I have absolutely no right to be upset!
I'm used to being an emotionless cunt, so, this is new to me. I just felt like writing something about it, to get it out of my system, I feel too much of a loser to tell anyone I know IRL.