I dunno what to do!

the ghost's picture

I think I am starting to have a crush on a good friend that I used to have a crush on way back a couple of years ago.This friend,we will call her Sarah,also seems to be not so straight.She has never said this to me directly,but to date she hasn't had a boyfriend(well since she was about 14,she is now 20),we talk about hot girls all the time,and there is a lot of other stuff that indicates that she is probably gay.But things are a bit up in the air with us about whether or not we are gay.I have never said it to her directly.Mainly because I think she is still a little uneasy about it and I am afraid if I tell her I am that she will freak out or something since I think she is still dealing with it herself.

But the thing is we have been spending A LOT of time together lately.We speak to each other every single day.If not in person,either on the phone or through text msgs.She called me three times the other day,just because she was bored.This may sound weird but it kind of feels like we are a couple minus the kissing and stuff.But I am not sure if I am reading too much into a really good friendship or if there is more between us!

I'm not sure if I should start off by first coming out to her and seeing how that goes. I'm afraid that if I tell her I'm gay things between us might get a bit messed up and I really don't want to loose what we have there now.So yeah I dunno what to do!!Ideas?


I bleed audio's picture

How about...

Why don't you start off by telling her something like "You're friendship is very important to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to change it but I feel that in a sense I'm lying to you. You see I'm not exactly straight..." and take it from there. If she is gay then she'll probably jump on the bandwagon and tell you right there. If not, you've stressed how important her friendship is to you and if she feels the same way about your guy's friendship then she'll try to be understanding. If she is put off by you coming out to her then it probably is for the best (however harsh that may sound) because you don't want to have friends that you have to continually lie about who you are to. Thats really just doing you both a disservice.

Hope this helped, though I doubt it did.

Despite all the things you may have learned, if you play with fire then you're bound to get burned

gaynow's picture

Ow. This situation is never

Ow. This situation is never easy. My question to you is, how do you think she'd take it if you came out to her? Have you brought up gayness to her? What's her attitude on it seem to be? Try broaching it in conversation and see what her reaction is.

So, you guys are just acting couple-y? Or is she actively flirting with you? If she's giving off really strong gay vibes, another option might be to ask her if she's gay. I mean, with a proper premise and everything, but... yeah. I don't know, I've always appreciated bluntness, but not everyone does. It depends on her (and do NOT do it if she seems like the denial/self-loathing type). At any rate, good luck! Keep us posted.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

msquared's picture


Amen! It feels nice to be back. Hopefully I'll be less of a nomad and actually stick around for a whizzile. I wish I had some advice concerning this journal entry, but I've never had a similar experience, considering pretty much everyone at my school knows I'm gay. I'm pretty sure even the janitors know! XD

“Never forget! The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche