I want to be clear headed! But I never am. Clutter, clutter and my thoughts are lost, or jumbled at best. Maybe there are too many, I don't know......
I stay up all night and then sleep until I have to work, so I barely see people....I'm LONELY! But ever since I was a little kid I always had trouble sleeping at night. I feel more like myself at night though....its like as soon as its dark I just click into a more comfortable zone. Daytime I feel like a zombie, no matter how much sleep I get, for how many nights in a row. But all of this causes the huge problem of being completely opposite the rest of the world... Maybe thats the point of it. Possibly trying to avoid people? Just servere social anxiety...or a lack of dealing with it, by avoiding it.
I find life hard. I keep thinking that maybe I just can't deal with "real life". Whenever I complain about anything to anyone, the only thing they have to say is "well that's life".... So the only conclusion that I can come up with from that is that I am not sure if I can deal with life... I feel more lost now than I ever did in high school. I have no direction, no hobbies, no interests. Escapism... it's about the only thing I have been doing lately. Work and trying to escape from reality; my life. I feel lost and alone