Just a little bit

I bleed audio's picture

My friend Josh and I have been hanging out a lot the past couple of months and as a result I've picked up being a social smoker. I know the risks and that it will kill me but BY GOD does it make me feel better. I mean I can feel like complete shit, stressed out the eyeballs but as soon as I put the cigarette on my lips I start feeling better. Don't get me wrong, I don't support teen smoking, I'm just saying it works for me. I think the reason behind it is that we as humans have an oral fixation on some level and this just soothes it. I'm not addicted, I know you're thinking "Well not yet, but soon" but really I think that since I'm only doing it on an "as needed" basis (Around finals, after a fight with my parents, etc.) I'm not doing it often enough to get hooked.

I don't thik my parents take my convictions seriously anymore. I tried coming out to my mom awhile back and she played it off like it was a joke. She said something like "Oh so you want another guy to pound your ass, yeah right". I was really taken aback by this, she couldn't even take me seriously when I was trying to open up to her. I don't know if she doesn't believe me as much as she doesn't want to believe me. It's like when I told her that I wasn't sure that I believed in god anymore and didn't feel like church was a good use of my time. She told me she was worried for my soul and has been guilt tripping me to church with them on sunday since. Well more to the point, now she's dropping hints that my sisters dance teacher (she's like 20) has a crush on me and I think she's wanting to try to hook me up with her. I mean part of me wants to but at the same time part of me wants to try at a same sex relationship and not let my parents influence me anymore... Any suggestions?

Comments

5thstory's picture

Being a second-hand smoker

Being a second-hand smoker (addicted), I won't say smoking's bad... after all, what doesn't kill? even salad does, really.

I have absolutely no suggestions about what to do with your parents, except to try again. Good luck!

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

jeff's picture

Hmm...

First, how does salad kill?

Second, there are far better ways to deal with an oral fixation than smoking.

Third, smoking makes your semen taste nasty. Err, I mean.. that's what I've heard.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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5thstory's picture

The odds of the lettuce (or

The odds of the lettuce (or carrots, or nori, or whatever) in your salad not being harvested in America are pretty high. Then, it won't have been cultivated with water as you are used to see it, and it causes you a great stomach ache. perhaps you'll get infected, and die later. Everything, Jeff, can kill, everything.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

I bleed audio's picture

Well...

I know there are better ways to deal with an oral fixation but the nicotine is just so calming. Secondly, i don't think with my luck i'll have to worry about how my semen tastes for awhile.