"Smile, Jaize"

thegirlyouknew's picture

Sitting there,

heart beating fast,

so terrible scared.

"He can't hurt you."

How would they know?

Pushed up against his chest, his arms around me,

forming the barrier

between choas,and myself.

they talkabout me late at night,

when I'm either dancing,

or supossidly asleep.

How I'm not getting better,

I'm only getting worse.

Don't know if they're talking about

my health,

or me skipping math class all the time.

Myke won't let me go,

not that'd I want him to.

His lover Corne(y)

Looks down at me,

he can see my shoulders shaking,

see the tears on my face.

What he doesn't her ismy short gasps for breath.

He holds out his hand, as Myke let's me go.

Pulling me up, I look at him.

He's deaf, wouldn't understand me if I looked away.

"Corny, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, smile Jaize."

Can he see my eyes all hazy,

clearing from another attempt at death?

I slid back down to the floor.

He looks at me, I can feel his eyes staring at my cut up hands.

"I can't help you get better, if I don't understand."

He walks away.

Allowing me to return,

to listenign to my heart beat the unwanted blood

through my viens.

Maybe if I think about my heart stopping hard enough,

It'll actually happen.


Anonymoose's picture

Don't let it happen.

Things will get better. I know is doesn't seem like that now, but they will.
[Aside from math class, obviously. X3]

Is Jaize your real name?
It's lovely.

thegirlyouknew's picture

No, it's only a nickname....

No, Jaize is only a nickname. My brother picked it out for me when I was a little girl for reasons I have to ask him why.. :D


Let's get this straight I wear black nail polish,
and kitty ear headbands I am a real person.

Anonymoose's picture

I have so many random

I have so many random nicknames I have no idea why I have it's not even funny. ><