Today I'm not listening

thegirlyouknew's picture

Today I'm just the girl people knew,
cuz they probably don't know me anymore.
Fake smiles during the day,
cascading tears late at night behind closed and locked doors.
Hating all the teachers,
they never seem to care,
don't they ever guess
that I too, need my own amount of air?

Not having them all pressing around me,
And asking me all these questions.

Today I'm not listening,
I don't give a damn what they say.
Coz yesterday they acted as if
I had a sign saying
"Loser of the day."
The only thing I'll acknoledge
is the MP3 player
blasting music in my mind.

All this agony,
from all these fights,
Brother doesn't know
that the teachers are n;t doign what's right.
It's me that's paying attention,
me that walked myself to mathclass.
I made sure I finished the term paper.
And kept myself out of detention.

He still get's the call,
while we walk home at night.
"Ronni did a bad job today.
at home- is everything allright?"

If they understood my father hates me,
and my brother,
and my mother is a workaholic,
they'd know they it's as good as possible right now.

Until daddy understand,
not straigh people are okay to live with,
and his own son being gay,
something he won't deal with.

All this agony, My brother goes through.
I wish I could help him.
But neither of my personalities know what to do.