Anywhere but home

Arthur's picture

I just want to get the hell out of here. Away from everything. Just gone. I just want, want want want. I want to be accepted. Totally, and without exception. I want people to accept me when I am happy, sad, angry, apathetic, spazzed-out, ecstatic, hyper-off-the-wall, ALL OF IT. I want everyone to accept me through all of it. Everyone. I want the world I want the whole world I want to lock it all up in my pocket It's MY bar of chocolate. Dammit.

I just can't take any of this anymore. I don't want to try. I don't give a shit about anything anymore. I want to find someone to tear into because I think it will make me feel something, if not better. I don't want anyone to call me today. I would tear up my best friend just to hear someone else feel this. But I wouldn't.

I love people too much, especially when they're still whole. So I leave well enough alone. But I think I will go buy one of those sodas in a glass bottle, just so I can throw it when I'm done. Just to hear it shatter. I want to drag the stoopidest guy I know to a fireworks factory and tell him to light his pants on fire and run through it.

Just to see it all come down.

Comments

Disney's picture

Need, Need Need Need

You don't WANT those things, not only anyway. You need them, so don't feel alone in that! But the reality is that not everyone is a bundle of fun 24/7. Not everyone wants to accept someone when they're sad, angry, spazzed-out or hyper-off-the-wall, to name a few! The other states, suuuure, but haven't you been disgruntled with someone being too hyper/sad/angry?

Anyway, breathe and breathe again and give yourself a hug from me, because I'm not there to give you one, and know that the wheel turns round! Which means, as mad as you may be now (or were) it'll flip and you'll be sooooo happy! So look forward to that, or find a really neat book you'd like to read, or watch a rerun of a TV show you love, or rearrange your wardrobe!

Just relax, and know the stoopidest guy you know will run HIMSELF into a fireworks factory, and if he doesn't do that, he's not stoopid enough to have on your mind! Haha!

You're Amazing.

Lost Angry Youth's picture

I used to want people to

I used to want people to accept me for all of my flaws as well as well as my quirks that make me 'me'..but in time I was like,fuck it! why should I care? why does it matter so much what people think of me? why should I care about approval and acceptance and being 'liked'? should I have to brown nose or be 'nice' in order just to fit in when all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs and when I can't even stand them? hell no!
I used to try and hide my attractions and attentions before..I still do sometimes when feeling insequeer..but after a while it's like..you know what? if they don't like me..then fuck'em..fuck em all.
I try to focus on what matters most and what I want in my life..FOR ME and me first then everyone else..because if you can't help yourself first..what's the point in helping others? I have to make sure I AM taken care of before helping anyone else..likewise,I have to be able to love myself before able to love anyone else..that includes accepting myself 100% unconditionally before being able to accept others unconditionally and without judgment.

I'd rather be alone anyways so it's not like it really matters...