I NEED HELP ON A SECRET LOVER. PLEASE!!!

dude1234's picture

If you have any advice, please leave it. I would greatly appreciate it. =D

Okay, I seriously need some help. So, I am a senior in high school and play the straight role. Some people tend to think I am gay sometimes but not all. I mean, I dont act it, I think. Well anyways, I met this guy in one of my classes. His name is DEE and he is a freshman. But I'd say he looks and acts much older. Seriously, I am not attracted so hispanic men but, he is gorgeous. DEE has been with his girlfriend since eighth grade and they have been going out for about 1 year and 2 months. At first I thought he was just a cool guy I would hang with but since Ive been to his house, he got extremely attractive. I dont know why I didnt notice it at first but whatever. So I called him because he wanted to go to six flags one day so he got my number, but he never called so I gave him my number. So I decided to call him one night and we were just talking about random stuff, not for very long though. All of the sudden, we brought up guitar hero and he was saying how he can play on expert and how he said he could beat me. Honestly, I didnt know how to play in that level either, but I knew medium. So I went to his house like at 11:30 at night and I didnt know but he had to sneak me in. I was suprised at first but whatever. once I was in we began to play. He didnt even know how to play easy. So we both laughed at how stupid we were.


As time flew by. Day by day, I got more and more attracted to him. So we would do straight stuff like just chill and go to parties and all that good stuff. I dont know how it began but we were at his house one night, (snuck in of course) we played this wresteling type game where we turned the lights off and wrestled. So the days came and just about IDK two days ago I was at his house again but this time we played Halo. I thought it was boring cause I hate video games. So, I told him I was bored and I put my hood over my head and layed my head on the couch. He paused the game and told me to look up, so I looked and he showed me his butt and started laughing. And I was like "Your Gay" and we just laughed. So he put the movie shrek on and we watched it for a while and we would just sit there. After a while, he asked me if I wanted to chill in his room and I was like, "Yeah, this is boring", So, we started playing a wrestling game but I turned it into a tickling game. and I told him not to aim my neck cause that is my worst spot, but he did any way. So when we played these games, I had a boner cause I just liked feeling him on me. I think he felt it sometimes and maybe ignored it or didnt notice it, I dont know. So, I tried biting him cause he said he would if I didnt stop ticking him so I just went for it and bit him, but as I bit him soft, he bit me too, but hard. he left me a big bruse on my right wrist. It was all funny and stuff. I noticed that when we were wrestling, we had like a face to face moment were we almost made out but it was only one second and I dont know if he felt it like I did.


But I just cannot tell whether he is gay or not. I mean, he is a freshman after all, he might not recognize what he is doing is gay, or if he just doesnt care. I want to ask him but I dont want to feel stupid cause I have never acted this way with another guy. We have seen straight porn, and he told me he is uncircumsized. And that he cant count how many time he has had sex with his girlfriend. And he told me how long he is when we were passing notes in class and I told him my size as I made staight. It wasnt like a serious gay talk. But if he is gay I think that he might not be attracted to me, He is athletic soccer player and Im the chunky boring person who parties all the time. He is such a good guy at heart, anyone who is with him is blessed. I told him I was moving out of town in january to a city about 2 hours away and he said it was gonna be gay if I moved because he has not had a close guy friend like me since he has been with his girlfriend because she has him on a short leash. By the way, his girlfriend hates me cause I always chill with him. But Im over it. So, what should I do? I dont want to ask him cause I dont want to ruin the relationship we have. I love him too much to do that. Im scared, but I hope we turn out to be more than friends, FAST!

-DOT DOT DOT

WantsOut's picture

the first temptation of freshman

wow. thats cool. I can't give you advice because I myself am new to this... but you know if he has a girlfriend you shouldn't tempt him.
but of course when have I ever been the voice of reason, I'm just a poet.

WantsOut's picture

maybe...

I could write a poem on this...

dude1234's picture

tough

cant someone just post something. I need serious help, Im going crazy

Fiona Rosge's picture

um...try and find out what

um...try and find out what he thinks about gays, maybe tell him u r. to me it seems like hes kinda attracted to u, and ur moving anyway right? the worst that could happen is he doesnt like u that way and u both move on but u'll probably find someone else when u do move.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
would she, could she been thinking of me? all along
and if thats true, would she tell me the truth?
Cause its a long way down when your hopes are high as mountains
and i am worried that im falling for u

jeff's picture

Eh...

The easiest way is to always just come out to them, and then it all gets a bit simplified. I mean, if you were out to him and he's still telling you all about his dick, well... there'd be a bit less to interpret, since he'd be telling a gay person about his dick, whereas now you don't know about him, he doesn't know about you, etc., etc.

Straight porn doesn't count for much, since straight porn is 50% male, and what he probably has easier access to. His girlfriend seems to be a bigger issue, but not being able to count how many times... either he's telling the truth or overselling his lie.

If you're leaving town soon, sounds like your goal is to come out to him, and see if you two can have some fun before you leave. Keep it friendly, playful and physical... not the prelude to a long distance relationship, just some heterosexual male bonding, except with sex thrown in, heh.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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thinks's picture

Hope This Helps...

I have a friend with whom at one time I could not tell whether he was gay or not. We’ve done similar things to what you have described, the porn, the dick talk, and this crazy funny thing where one of us would (out of the blue) try to see how close we could get to “touching” the other.

That’s all in the past though really. There was even a time where I got REALLY confused and wondered terribly whether he was gay or not…but I’ve never asked. I’ve never told about myself either. I believe the time will come though.

I can understand the torment you must be going through. One thing I would keep in mind is that he is a freshman and you are a senior. The younger a person the more, how do I say, undefined their sexuality is. At least that’s what I believe.

If you’re going to be moving I would just let things flow because you’ll be, essentially, losing him anyways. If you feel the need to tell him, just think it through. Know the potential consequences. If I were you I would just not tell him and soak up every moment of beauty that you can, every little innocent moment. I believe that the things that are important have a way of finding themselves though. So maybe all it will take is some patience?

All in all sexuality is a part of who we are, but only we choose when it becomes a big deal.

I guess that’s my two cents.

Disney's picture

Are you actually moving?

If you're actually moving in January and going to be that far away from him, I'd say make a move! Strike up another "wrestling game" and try to kiss him smack on the lips at some point!

If that doesn't seem to be able to get started, I'd side with just telling him flat out... you seem to be comfortable with your feelings and that's excellent, everything you put down about him gives the innately gay vibe for your nice soccer boy.

Is his girlfriend very attractive, do they kiss a lot, have you seen them do anything intimate? I wouldn't say that just because he's a freshman he doesn't know what's going on... it doesn't seem so likely for a guy to sneak in a semi-strange older guy - who might be gossiped about as being gay - into his home at 11:30 and strike up wrestling fun.

It could be that he's just toying with you, but the fact that he's seemingly interested = you should take some action. I'd seriously discourage saying "that's gay" or using the term in a negative way, even if you're trying to act straight, it's pretty easy to not use the word, and even if it doesn't decrease the negative connotations, at least you won't be downplaying what you ARE!

Anyway, if you're moving, definitely do something asap, even if you think something will work out over a 2 hour distance (in terms of seeing each other, not a gay relationship as of yet) then might want to think again and just take the risk and see what happens before you move. If you're not moving, then feel him out (literally too if you want) about gay things maybe (but don't be nice and overt with : what do you think of those two guys hooking up?), but I'd say go for more intimate settings and confront him about it.

If you're worried about being "found out" as gay, you probably don't have a big problem, since you could really point this guy out as being the one inviting you over to "do things" and psuedo-blackmail him if he got angry or anything.

But whatever, make it a New Year's resolution to kiss him on the lips please!

You're Amazing.