I feel overwhelmed. I have a lot to say and only so much room to say everything I want.
I'll start with the adorable girl who is far too young for me. I've seen her a few times. Once at the first show I played: she walked in when we were just setting up, about two hours before the show was to actually start. I smiled at her kindly when she sat down across the room to listen. I thought she was quite cute, saw her later, and tried to show C, but the girl disappeared. Second I saw her at the college: she was walking with a boy and she smiled at me, and I returned. I couldn't believe I once again saw her. Third, I see her at my second show, again with the boy. This time, we make eyes quite a bit. I'd look at her, she'd be looking at me, etc.
So I talked to her. I told her that I see her everywhere, and asked what band she was there for. The particular band was playing the next weekend with a friend of mine, so I said "I bet I'll see you there, too." Sure enough, she was going.
The next day she found me on myspace and sent me a message saying she'd like to get to know me. Now, this girl is hella cute. So cute. And I was excited she posed interest. However, her myspace said her age was 14. I questioned it and she said she was actually 13. YIKES. That's a four year difference.
That same weekend I had broken up with C. This past week has been hell. A big jumble of not having a chance to think about anything. C and I are back together. But it's hard. I don't know how I feel on anything. I know that I missed her and I'm far happier as her girlfriend, but how do I actually feel about her? If I felt like I was just a best friend, where'd that feeling go? Why'd I have it in the first place? And my mom brought up the point that, if that girl wasn't 13 would I still be wanting C back? I'd totally be intersted in that girl if it wasn't for her age. Despite C. So what the hell?
I'm so thrown askew by everything I just need time off. From everything. But I can't get it.
If you have a word of advice, my ears are open.