Things you wanted to say out loud today...

apuffalogic's picture

...but didn't, in the interests of preserving your job, the respect of your elders, the illusion of your sanity, your teeth, etc.

For example:
"Like, OMG, there's snow? In December? In CANADA!!! NO. WAY. I bet it's COLD, too! PLEASE point that out again; I so love it when you talk about the obvious. Repeatedly. *Slap upside the head*."

Azul's picture

"Fuck! Just go down the

"Fuck! Just go down the fucking slide feet first. Enough of this sling shot, backwards and spinning crap. I'm fucking tired and my back huts. You know why? Because I've been up her for 3 rotations. 3 fucking rotations. I need a fucking break and yet you assholes keep on coming back."

"Dude, just yellow flag the crap out of the lagoon. The deepest spot is like 1.5 feet deep and there's parents around. I'm tired and it's boring up there. Plus there's blind spots so I have to walk all over the fucking place. And there's no chair, so I have to stand the entire fucking time. And best of all, the water isn't even fucking cold, it's piss warm."

say goodbye's picture

"I'm not a lesbian. Or, at

"I'm not a lesbian. Or, at least, I'm not lesbian because I really really like you and you're a guy. So please, stop trying to quell you feelings for me."

"HA! I'VE SEEN YOU NAKED! YOU NEED TO SHAVE! REALLY! I TALKED ABOUT YOU FOR ABOUT FOUR HOURS AFTER WITH THE HOT CHICK WITH THE RAINBOW TIE WHO YOU WERE GLARING AT WHILE YOU WERE POSING!!!" - to one of the nude models from figure drawing who I ran into at a LUSH store. LMFAO.

"Acting is behaving badly in public and getting away with it."

theotherside's picture

You think you're helping,

You think you're helping, but you do nothing but harm. So please get the fuck out of my city.

You're an idiot. Seriously. It's not about your own personal glory, and it's not about the glory of group you won. Grow up and start thinking about the people who actually earned this glory.

This was an incredible achievement and I'm very impressed and congratulations and you are incredible. By the way, I'm extremely jealous.

Don't assume I'm straight and I won't assume you're gay.

Keep religion out of bedrooms, and I won't have sex in church.

Azul's picture

Why are you here to swim? We

Why are you here to swim? We close in 15 fucking minutes.

Icarus's picture

"I knew there was a reason I

"I knew there was a reason I missed talking to you."

"Why is it that we can talk about gum disease and still have fun?"

Leave you alone for FIVE MINUTES!

RaspberriesAreFun's picture

Um thats not going to happen

Um thats not going to happen because I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN!

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic." ~Shelly Roberts

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

You're a craptastic boss and

You're a craptastic boss and need to look and see what a craptastic job you're doing at ruining things. Because you're an idiot.

I'm not the only one that thinks it....

Sorrow you can hold, however desolating, if nobody speaks to you. If they speak, you break down.
~Bede Jarrett~

my three wheeler rox's picture

*thock* Shoulda had a

*thock*
Shoulda had a V8!

Wat do you tell a quad rider with two black eyes?
Nothin! You alredy told 'im twice!

loreonpravus's picture

Heyyy. How's it going? I was

Heyyy. How's it going? I was just noticing you and your piercing, where'd you get it? Uh huh. Okay. So, what's your name, good-looking?

ReinbowGrl's picture

How long until you break my

How long until you break my heart? Cuz I can feel it coming.

- - -
Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask about your weekend.
- I had a GREAT time with...them.
Yay, now they don't think you're queer, just a slut!

fatefellshort's picture

Your mother is pregnant and

Your mother is pregnant and your stepdad-to-be just got laid off and all you can say is IDC? Open the fuck up!

Actually I'm good at minigolf I'm just apathetic to winning.

I wasn't actually reading your shirt. But thanks for putting words there.

-Ruby-'s picture

so,

i reeeeeeeeeally wanna get naked with u.
it'll be fun, trust me ;-)

ZPhoenix's picture

Here's mine..

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

About ten times, ten different situations, and in text to some random baffoon.

"I really just want you for your tattoo."

5thstory's picture

(I said) "Do I really have

(I said) "Do I really have to wait another week?". I though: "You damned jerks! It's been the second week on a row with that lame excuse, I'm so getting you fired!!! I need my f****ing phone and if you're not willing to gimme a new one now, or die, I'll make your life hell. And, trust me, I'll enjoy torturing you."

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

msquared's picture

What I wanted to say to my

What I wanted to say to my band director, who's running band camp 1984-style: "This isn't just your band; it's our band. Winning and having a good show might be important to you, but having fun and feeling like a family is important to us. And last time I checked we outnumber you 130 to 1. You're not teaching anything valuable to these kids. You're just instructing them on how to be pawns, how not to ask questions, how to feel like they cannot think or act for themselves. This is not education. This is prison."

"But don't be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it."
-Stephen Colbert

Neutrina's picture

So, um...you love me. I love

So, um...you love me. I love you. We both know this. You won't date me because...?

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

Kkid28's picture

guess what

Im better with out you

“In order to meet the challenge, you have to have that support,”
Jackie Joyner-Kersee

ZPhoenix's picture

For today..

"When the hell do I get to have you here?"
"Just go to your fucking computer, pull up expedia.com, and buy me my fucking tickets."
"But I do not want wraps, I want the sandwich I didn't eat earlier."
"Don't give me that look."
"Go home, you're snoring on my couch."

5thstory's picture

"No" " . . . The sun does

"No"

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Inkblot's picture

Today:

"You're a wonderful director. But can I go home now?"

"Ow. Hurty, hurty shoes."

"Stupid fucking track pants, stupid fucking shirt that makes my stupid fucking tits show..."

"Legs hurt."

"You bastard, would it kill you to be sensitive for once, and not walk all over my mom, or hurt her feelings?"

"Sigh. I miss you."

Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

"What do you think I

"What do you think I whimpered about last night in my sleep?"

"I really whimpered? Wait...you really pulled me into your arms and held me while you talked to me?"

"You can't just get up and leave to go sleep in another room without telling me. I freak out and think I did something."

"And you wonder why baby's so hairy....cause he's a werebaby!"

Riku's picture

(To my chest, after making

(To my chest, after making something to bind my boobs down. )

HAHA! Take that boobs! You are now officially SQUISHED! *maniacal laughter*

Buuut... I kept it to myself. XD

5thstory's picture

"You bloody bastard! I was

"You bloody bastard! I was barely one kilometre over the limit!! ONE! And this is a damned motorway, so 80 km/h ('bout 50 miles/hour, for you) IS A RATHER STUPID LIMIT!!!!!Don't be such a jerk, and don't ticket me. Don't you dare, arsehole!" (I got the ticket......bastard!)

"Oh god! Is it really necessary to make me wake up, a saturday, at 7 am? What's up with the ungodly hour?!?!?!?! Can't anyone else drive the kid to his class?! I sort of planned to go partying, you know?" (I have to wake up at 7 anyway)

Oh, so you're here to have lunch with your dad? (what I didn't say: Hey, my dad's also on the same meeting, and I'm also here for lunch. So what if we forget about our fathers and their tiresome meeting, go have lunch and make this the beginning or a beautiful and long-lasting relationship?) He was soooo cute!

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Ricky-chan72's picture

"I see how it is. No, don't

"I see how it is. No, don't apologize. I almost knew this would happen. But now the tables will turn, and I'll forget you, as you have forgotten me."

"Me thinks this computer is bound for the scrap heap."

my three wheeler rox's picture

...

I just wasted 4 hours at a coffee shop with my computer and accomplished nothing but one e-mail.. I haves a pathetic life

What do you tell a quad rider with two black eyes?
Nothin! You alredy told 'im twice!

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

"If I push him into the pool

"If I push him into the pool and hold him under. No one try to stop me....I just hate him that much."

"Stop checking my girlfriends ass out. I saw your eyes stray when we followed you. Bastard"

"And you wonder why baby's so hairy....cause he's a werebaby!"

Uncertain's picture

I somehow think i should've

I somehow think i should've tapped my ex boyfriend...

Azul's picture

"you're making my fucking

"you're making my fucking mouth bleed you cunt. I can see it on the dental instrument, I'm not fucking blind. I also can feel pain you piece of shit. And fucking rinse my mouth out, I can still taste that nasty polish."

hayden_love778899's picture

WOWZA!

bahahahahahahahahaha. this is my lesbian friends thoughts. her names ceejai.she went to youthgroup with me and... if you feel the need for an explanation message me.
"you wanna know why im excited to go to youthgroup? cuz christian chicks are hot!"

"what?!? your gay to?!? but your the hot christian chick!!!! omfgg im gunna pass out,"

"so christians say that when you die... you go to heaven. so when i die i end up in your bed!? COOL!"

Azul's picture

"You can't mean to tell me

"You can't mean to tell me that you are sincerely trying to prove a religious theory via particle physics? Not even just particle physics, but instead string theory, which isn't very widely accepted.

And string theory, do you understand just how theoretical it is? It's the idea that the lowest level of a unit in physics is a string which exists in an 11-dimensional world. These strings apparently vibrate at different frequencies to create matter, that's at least what I was able to understand. And you're trying to tell me that humans are responsible for these vibrations, that we dictate matter.

This is blasphemy to basically all religious institutions out there. This is pure heresy and simply nonsense from the scientific standpoint. I tried to believe this chakra stuff and the grand wave, but this is just too idiotic. I'm through with you."

I ended up sleeping through that presentation rather than calling him out on his bullshit...

Maux's picture

Shut UP you stupid

Shut UP you stupid bitch!
WTF?
What do you MEAN I have to type it?
Life sucks. (i actually said his one, but I wanted to say it lots more.)

Bisexual by nature. Absolutely fabulous by choice.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

"You may want to see her,

"You may want to see her, but she don't want to see you. So back the fuck off. Or so help me I will beat the crap out of you."

"You saying you want to see her, means you really want to try to take her from me. Isn't it?"

"I hate you leave me the fuck alone. Or I'll push you in the pool and hold your head underwater and attack the lifeguards when they try to stop me."

"And you wonder why baby's so hairy....cause he's a werebaby!"

hayden_love778899's picture

lawlz xD

"ugh! would you just go to work and stop doing my chores, i do need money ya know"

"why the fuck to i have the urge to rap lil' wayne "lollipop" to meghan and then fuck her like the dyke that i sometimes am."

"why the hell did you buy a flashlight that looks like a dildo?!?"

"i think i'll wear my short shorts today and drive to meghans house to see what she does"

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

"I don't ask you to deal

"I don't ask you to deal with my shit. So don't"

"Since it seems I ALWAYS bring my shit to you. Stop talking to me....because I don't know if I really wanna talk to you."

"Just remember, that you're a freshman...and I'm a senior. I CAN make your life a living hell you little rat."

"And you wonder why baby's so hairy....cause he's a werebaby!"

Maux's picture

okay, so let me get this

okay, so let me get this straight: i can find my "own way to god", but i sill have to get up at six fucking thirty to go to church when i don't actually want to? isn't that YOUR way to god?

i don't give a flying fuck WHAT you think, i can hold hands with her in public if i want to! (talking about my cousin. some fucker at the mall called us dikes 'cause she held my hand whilst having a complete emotional breakdown.)

hah! i can put you in a dinky ponytail! take THAT hair!(read my journal for explanation)

go...fly a kite you SOB! we don't want any of your stupid magazine subscriptions. (i really said "mom, there's some guy a the door. he's sellin' stuff." she took care of it.)

Bisexual by nature. Absolutely fabulous by choice.

hayden_love778899's picture

baha.

"what the fuck gives you the right to call my girlfriend a rat?"
"why do my boxers always situate to make it feel like im wearing a thong? if i wanted to have the feeling of fabric up my ass i would of worn a thong to bed"
"i would appriciate it if you could open your eyes and realize that your DAUGHTER is stareing at my tits, kthnx :)"

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

"Fuck off" "And you wonder

"Fuck off"

"And you wonder why baby's so hairy....cause he's a werebaby!"

pinkthoughts's picture

"Just order a fucking latte

"Just order a fucking latte its not that complicated its coffee. have you ever been into a coffee shop in your life?!"

"Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs."

Neutrina's picture

"Actually, yes, I am quiet.

"Actually, yes, I am quiet. You just don't shut up long enough to notice."

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

ReinbowGrl's picture

Instant gratification my

Instant gratification my ass. What have you done for me lately? I'm the one working their ass off just to keep you happy.

Can we elope? Like yesterday?

SCONE SCONE SCONE SCONE!!!!

- - -
Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask about your weekend.
- I had a GREAT time with...them.
Yay, now they don't think you're queer, just a slut!

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

"Elope? Pack a bag

"Elope? Pack a bag baby."

"I've thought about it, and almost told you I wanted to..."

"Gimme a scone!!! Go back into your bakery kitchen thing. And make me one dam you!!"

"I still don't like you anymore than yesterday."

"Just because nothing can happen doesn't mean I like you checking out my lover!"

"Dammit old man. Just because your wifes boobs hang to her kneecaps. And her vagina is old and shriveled like a grape. Doesn't mean you can go after my soul mate."

"BABY!!! I love you *smooches*"

"And you wonder why baby's so hairy....cause he's a werebaby!"

Riku's picture

In response to my mom who

In response to my mom who indirectly said I should respect my parents, meaning I should respect her. My mom who's been more like a bratty sister than a parent to me, especially recently.

"Well it might actually be worth saying that if you acted like a respectable parent wouldn't it?"

And over breakfast with my grandparents, and mom who all hate my dad for no real existing reason, and with my awesometastic little sister. None of whom know about my being trans.

"BTW, don't worry guys, I'm not really a lesbian, boys aren't lesbians. That's right, I'm a boy. Transgender. Now go run and tell everyone that it's somehow my dad's fault in a pathetic attempt to make my dad look bad. Because even though we could just as well say that it was my moms fault for leaving me without a proper mother figure when she left for Florida, you know we won't lie the way you do."

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

"What the hell do you mean

"What the hell do you mean look out for some woman beating her kids? It's almost the end of my shift. Couldn'tthis have happened like....3 hours ago?!?!?!?!"

"What the hell.....stop following me around....it's creepy."

"You have really pretty eyes....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And you wonder why baby's so hairy....cause he's a werebaby!"

Ricky-chan72's picture

"STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS!" "oh

"STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS!"
"oh wow, um... I think I might like you, a little."

-"my puss is the best on the block, your puss invaded Iraq!"-

Maux's picture

wow, you're

wow, you're hot...*drool*

oh, wait, i forgot to tell you, i like girls.

piss off, you thrice-accursed limey bastard son of a pox-ridden whore!

hey, mom, did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, dad woulda stayed with you instead of marrying becky if you weren't such an uptight BITCH?!!!!
(unfortunately, i can't say anything of the sort, seeing as my mom doesn't actually know about my dad's new wife. yeah. LONG story. message me for details.)

Bisexual by nature. Absolutely fabulous by choice.

Neutrina's picture

"Well, you see, I'm being

"Well, you see, I'm being formal because you treated our two-year relationship like a business arrangement. "

"I love you, but I don't trust you at all."

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

gaynow's picture

"...So, remind me why we've

"...So, remind me why we've got 9 people staying here and one bathroom and there are two other people staying in my room with me, and a random Japanese girl who only half-speaks English that my uncle totally brought along just as a babysitter, on our vacation ensuring that I get no alone, unwind-y time? Without ASKING us if we minded???"

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

clarice123's picture

girlgirlboy

"Back to normal? What on earth do you mean by that? How rude and presumptuous of you, you bitch."

"Not over."

"I'm sorry."

5thstory's picture

"estoy muerto... y dicen que

"estoy muerto... y dicen que hay besos de esos que cuando se dan, resucitan a un muerto... me resucitas?"

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Neutrina's picture

*hug* "When the people begin

*hug*

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire