Things you wanted to say out loud today...

apuffalogic's picture

...but didn't, in the interests of preserving your job, the respect of your elders, the illusion of your sanity, your teeth, etc.

For example:
"Like, OMG, there's snow? In December? In CANADA!!! NO. WAY. I bet it's COLD, too! PLEASE point that out again; I so love it when you talk about the obvious. Repeatedly. *Slap upside the head*."

yesac's picture

XO!!!!

I love you and I don't really give a flying fuck what the world thinks anymore! Screw homophobia, screw those assholes who think girl-on-girl is hot, screw my parents...ARGHHHH

starsxfallxup's picture

"CAN YOU PLEASE TALK TO ME?

"CAN YOU PLEASE TALK TO ME? PLEAAAAASE I'M DYING OVER HERE"

"you're so fucking adorable. if I ever kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop"

"STOP JOKING AROUND ABOUT ME GETTING RAPED! DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH I HATE THE THOUGHT OF SEX WITH A MAN. THIS ISN'T FUNNY. BITCH"

"I miss you. oh god I miss you. I need you. now."

bulldyke's picture

to R...i think it's pretty

to R...i think it's pretty self explanitory. she's my ex, and one of my best friends.
"i love you. i want to spend the rest of my life with you, even though i don't have a clue what that means. i want to hold you and cherish you and promise you everything."

"are you okay? please...just tell me if you're coming home..."

"damn you and damn my heart, cause every time you let me down, i bleed a little more, and i don't have much more to give, so damn you for stealing my heart!"

"i love you more than anything, and i'd give every last breath just to hold you in my arms tonight as i fell asleep."

"g'night, Majesty. i love you."

to my best friend, wolf:
"pay attention to me for just one goddamn second! stop thinking about how amazing it is that your bf will be here tomorrow, and see that i'm in pain, and that i could really use a friend right now!"

Bulldyke
"this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart" e.e. cummings

ReinbowGrl's picture

I hate the freaking FAFSA. I

I hate the freaking FAFSA.

I wish things were ok.

I need a life.

- - -
Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask about your weekend.
- I had a GREAT time with...them.
Yay, now they don't think you're queer, just a slut!

Splash's picture

Your boyfriend has NO idea

Your boyfriend has NO idea how lucky he is.

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

WantsOut's picture

(Upon coming out to friend)

(Upon coming out to friend) Please. I'm in pain physically and emotionally, Tiffany, I need a hug.

DAMMIT MS. ABBOT I'M A FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL!!! THAT'S RIGHT LANGUAGE ARTS CLASS!!!! I'M GAY!!!

Kiss me, Jose.

Written lovingly for you, yes, ONLY you,

WantsOut

WantsOut's picture

MWAHAHAHAHA! NOW MY PLAN TO

MWAHAHAHAHA! NOW MY PLAN TO TURN EVERYBODY AT SCHOOL GAY IS ALMOST COMPLETE!!! (Talking to my friend while a little moron eavesdropped on us.)

YES. EDWARD IS HOT. CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON, YOU FREAKIN' TWILIGHT OBSESSOS?

Nothing would bring me greater joy that learning that you are not straight.

Written lovingly for you, yes, ONLY you,

WantsOut

gaynow's picture

"Yeah, psh, I'll never get a

"Yeah, psh, I'll never get a girlfriend... hint hint..."

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

starsxfallxup's picture

"I don't think you realize

"I don't think you realize that I'm dying over you"

"Gah I don't want to talk to you about dating older men because I don't like men. And I don't see how you can like your 'gentlemen friend' because he seems like the reason why women are so much more appealing"

"You guys are kinda boring... all you do is talk about boys.."

jos's picture

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

You gave me a hickey fucking closeted raging queen drunk asshole!!!!!!

if not now, then when?

WantsOut's picture

"Have you ever wanted to

"Have you ever wanted to know what it's like to have a crutch up your crotch?? *SLAM* Now you know."

"Yipee kay-yay-muthafuckers"

in response to a preacher saying everybody was welcome: "How about gays? And I mean all out uncloseted gays. ARE THEY WELCOME??? HUH?!?!?"

Written lovingly for you, yes, ONLY you,

WantsOut

bulldyke's picture

McCLLLLLAAAAAANNNNNNEEE!!!!!!

McCLLLLLAAAAAANNNNNNEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry...that was a bruce willis love moment. please don't doubt my dykeness. :D

Bulldyke
"tonight, i want to slit my wrists, hold the blood to god's lips and say 'taste this'" ~ Andrea Gibson, "Anything"

starsxfallxup's picture

"YOU have caused me more

"YOU have caused me more pain than anyone I have ever met.
YOU don't deserve to be let off the hook.
YOU should understand how much of a total bitch you are.
YOU are a cold hearted bitch.
YOU can't have everything you want
The fact that YOUR new relationship is being shoved in my face is destroying me. YOU are destroying me.
I wish I had never met you. I would be better off not knowing you.
The fact that I STILL have feelings for you if absolutely disgusting.
You stupid, greedy, cold hearted bitch."

allmylovin's picture

"i love you

"i love you and you tread me like shit"

"i'm gay"

"if you were not straight i would be exceedingly happy"

gaynow's picture

You're cute. Let's go out.

You're cute. Let's go out. (Needless to say, I didn't actually say this.)

Your class is such a fucking WASTE of my fucking TIME.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

ShowMeLove's picture

Today

"Mom...................I'm gay"

Then again I feel like blurting that out all the time, just to get it out and in the open. Someday I will actually say it and until then I'll just continue to drop my subtle little hints:D

Tomboy for life

railroadhighwaydreams's picture

Yes mum, it's megan who I

Yes mum, it's megan who I need to talk to but can't figure out what to say. That cute little pug nosed girl I wrote my whole story on. That girl in my art class I told you about when I came out. god damn it (I never curse in front of mum). yes HER
shut up and answer me!
{{and to think I told her about Meg when I came out not that long ago actually. yet still she is cold and I don't ever want to say "she" and not an impersonal "they"}}

Nick, for god's sake. You are a BLOODY BITCH! you've got a brain haven't ya? Haven't you an idea for me? I asked everyone in school. How do ya start a conversation. ....
Yes, "let's go fuck in the corner" is brilliant, thank you. (He did say that "lets go" bit)

Mr. K... I'd love it if you would blurt out to the whole school that there will be a GSA next year. Yes I know you hate gays. Couldja still maybe do it for me and not make me look like an ass?
Thank you lovey

Hi Mr. B! HAHA we got GSA!! we ain't mentally ill, thank you very much! *humpf*
(I did a more proper version of this last week.. but I still want to say it each time he's around)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"all girls are bi at heart"
-katja
"all PEOPLE are bi at heart"
-sonya

Neutrina's picture

Okay, now you're supposed to

Okay, now you're supposed to kiss me...

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

starsxfallxup's picture

I didn't want to say this today but I did friday...

"Can you kiss me please?"

"Are you always this cute?"

bulldyke's picture

after being asked if i was

after being asked if i was all right (my mom walked in on me lying on my bed, crying).

"no, i'm not all right! i'm walking through life missing a huge part of myself!! my BEST FRIEND isn't talking to me, because i scare her shitless, and i can't handle it!! every little moment of my life, i want to share with her. not even in the romantic, marry me sort of way, i JUST WANT TO BE HER FRIEND!!!! and i did the goddamn right thing, and told her how i feel, and now she's running hard and fast from me, and i don't konw if she's ever coming back! so no, i'm not all right today! i miss her more than i ever thought possible, and now, i don't even have the promise of her return to warm me at night. i can't sleep because i hate lying down and not txting her goodnight. i hate waking up and knowing that i can't tell her about that dream i had, or just goodmorning. i start crying while watching movies, right in the middle of laughing, cause i'll be loving the movie, and think 'i can't wait to tell R about this, i know she'll love it'. only i CAN'T. i can't tell her, cause she's not talking to me, and i cna't STAND IT!!!! i want to give up, give in, let it all out, and i DO, but it doesn't help! nothing helps. i'm walking around with a hole in my chest that nobody sees. and would it really matter if they did? would it make it any better if everyone i met knew that i have a gaping wound in me that cannot heal?"

"sorry i yelled, but i'm so mad at the world right now, and you just happen to be a good target."

"g'night, Majesty. sleep well and sweet dreams. ttyl"

Bulldyke
"tonight, i want to slit my wrists, hold the blood to god's lips and say 'taste this'" ~ Andrea Gibson, "Anything"

withoutaheart's picture

yeah

Stop assuming everything, just ask. And if you can't ask me, ask someone else. Because you know what, you're wrong.

"You can only protect yourself if there is no one in front of you, no one beside you, and no one behind you. Then again, it gets kind of lonely..."

withoutaheart's picture

yeah

Stop assuming everything, just ask. And if you can't ask me, ask someone else. Because you know what, you're wrong.

"You can only protect yourself if there is no one in front of you, no one beside you, and no one behind you. Then again, it gets kind of lonely..."

fleetfootedfox's picture

Yesterday actually but

Yesterday actually but whatever...
"STOP DESCRIBING UNCOOL THINGS AS GAY!! I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S REALLY GAY!"
______________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

bulldyke's picture

niiiiiice :D

niiiiiice :D lol

Bulldyke
"tonight, i want to slit my wrists, hold the blood to god's lips and say 'taste this'" ~ Andrea Gibson, "Anything"

bulldyke's picture

"stop hanging on your bf for

"stop hanging on your bf for TWO SECONDS and pay attention to me, and see that under my smile i'm hurting."

Bulldyke
"tonight, i want to slit my wrists, hold the blood to god's lips and say 'taste this'" ~ Andrea Gibson, "Anything"

Miss Sparrow's picture

Grandma and Cupcakes

"Oh so NOW you can be nice to me. When my OTHER grandmother is around. Ok. Sorry. I guess I didn't get the memo that you're only supposed to be nice to me around the grandmother I like. Sorry there."

"Dad, I love cupcakes. But you can't buy me off with them. Try a $20."

WantsOut's picture

HEY AUNTIE JOAN!!! I'M

HEY AUNTIE JOAN!!! I'M GAY!!!!! I couldn't say this else I'd ruin christmas Or so Mommy says.

Where there was once love lies now only sorrow,
where there once was hope lies now only pain.
Yet all's not lost, nay, look to the skies,
Now heaven's found in man's disguise

Adam A's picture

meow

straight people wear this too!

typicalmusician's picture

To my mom and dad: "I'm

To my mom and dad:

"I'm bisexual."

But of course I didn't, cause I know they would over-analyze and it might ruin our relationship further.

"Do I really give a flying fuck about my 2nd cousins twice removed, and which one is named Alexandra or Angelica? I'm probably never going to meet them, and if I do, you'll tell me their names over again anyway."

"You're turning into your father. And no, that's not a compliment."

I said, "I wrote a song..." and wanted to continue it with "...about being bisexual."

PS-I really did write a song. It is quite cryptic. And fun. Although my voice sounds like shit right now.

Miss Sparrow's picture

Goodness Gracious......

"Yeah. I have to sneeze. That's why I put my sunglasses on as soon as humanly possible. Oh yeah." <--- after getting picked on by both my grandmothers and hiding it.

"No I don't need any help and no, I'm not going to steal any of your stuff either. Just because I'm 17 doesnt mean I'm going to try to take your shit." <---while browsing in Dillard's.

gaynow's picture

Some guy at dinner party, on

Some guy at dinner party, on the subject of vampires: "Gosh, you've gotta choose between Spike and Edward!!!"
What I should have said: "I was always more of a Willow girl myself."

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Why won't you just tell me

Why won't you just tell me whats so wrong with running into someone from high school that you haven't seen in a few years? Is it cause you fucked him and don't want to tell me???

Call me....Squeegee Beckinhyme!!!

duct tape godess's picture

so your telling me that i

so your telling me that i ripped apart my family made my mom lose her best friend made a man kill himself all for nothing?? i could have said nothing gotten through it by myself and nothing other then the pain its caused would change!? well thats great..

bulldyke's picture

"i'm just pissed. not the

"i'm just pissed. not the good kind, the use-everything-i-know-about-you-to-say-things-that-will-hurt-you kind. i'm dealing with it, but i can't talk to you right now."

"why can't you two just ONCE take a step back and stop FIGHTING all the goddamn time?! just...just stop, and LISTEN to each other, for once in your lives!"

Bulldyke
"tonight, i want to slit my wrists, hold the blood to god's lips and say 'taste this'" ~ Andrea Gibson, "Anything"

gaynow's picture

"Why did you call me for the

"Why did you call me for the first time since camp ended after ignoring my facebook posts/the morning after blowing off my bithday party to do acid with your boyfriend/at 3AM the day we were supposed to go play D&D and NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE??? Arr!! I HATE people who don't leave messages! (All different people, for the record...)

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Fuck -_-....... Call

Fuck -_-.......

Call me....Squeegee Beckinhyme!!!

typicalmusician's picture

AGH why aren't you talking

AGH why aren't you talking to me? Is it my paranoia that somehow we've been talking to much and you've figured something out? Did she tell you I like you? Are you just busy? Am I being nosy? (Damn, yes, I'm being nosy.) BUT I CARE ABOUT YOU. And now I think you're working on your college apps and have a right to be distracted, but dammit, I'm obsessed with talking to you. And I shouldn't be. And I am.

Oh, good, now we're talking. I'm just a paranoid, masochistic, love-drunk idiot. All is right with the world. :P

typicalmusician's picture

Do not dare mention sex or

Do not dare mention sex or the karma sutra to me ever again. It makes me want to make out with you, and so far I've only been restrained by the thousands of miles in the way. Next time I might not be...and that would be bad for both of us.

WantsOut's picture

Hey, dad? Remember I told

Hey, dad? Remember I told you I'm gay? You do? THEN STOP ASKING IF I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!

Where there was once love lies now only sorrow,
where there once was hope lies now only pain.
Yet all's not lost, nay, look to the skies,
Now heaven's found in man's disguise

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

I fucking love you!! Call

I fucking love you!!

Call me....Squeegee Beckinhyme!!!

fleetfootedfox's picture

It seems I've kept to myself today...

"I'm a boy."

Oh and also,

"Oh, you know I love it when you knock on the door and then open it before I've said anything, Dad. That's what I love about you."

And...

"I don't want these plants in my bedroom."

And,

"No. I don't want to look at your cat desk calendar. Oh, yes. They're very cute. How nice. Please go away. I don't like you."

And this one, too:

"You're a hypocrite."

Oh, one more:

"Stop laughing at me for not having something that you have. If I don't care about it, I don't know why it's so funny to you. It's really annoying."

This one's for every day:

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
______________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

Neutrina's picture

"Okay, I know you don't like

"Okay, I know you don't like silence, but you're saying nothing entertaining or useful. In fact, you're annoying the Hell out of me."

"Just because you love the sound of your own voice doesn't mean I do."

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

scandalboy's picture

"Do i have to actually come

"Do i have to actually come in to work...and DO work...for me to get paid?"

"Soooo....can I please have the drugs now so we can stop feining a relationship?"

Riku's picture

"The only reason my sister

"The only reason my sister has cried since she came up for her vacation is because she has to go back to Florida and live with you mom. I hope you're happy with yourself. Are you PLEASED? Because we will become adults eventually, and then we don't have to talk to you at all if we don't want to. You sure you want to give up having a good relationship with us, for a few years with a girl who is miserable because you're keeping her there? You may not like it, but reality doesn't care what you like. And if you keep acting like the world owes you something it'll come round and kick you in the ass sooner or later."

.... This and many more rants/explanations of reality...

bulldyke's picture

"it's not my freaking fault

"it's not my freaking fault that our internet connection is too slow to stream video from this site. stop getting mad at me!"

also (and this actually isn't sarcastic, even though it looks like it should be)

"thank you so much for wanting to hire a hitman. i guess it's pointless to wish you could've cared about me this much when we were going out...and i am so glad you care now."

Bulldyke
"I've never written a love song, that didn't end in tears." ~P!nk

gaynow's picture

...I can't believe you asked

...I can't believe you asked me to skip ANOTHER day of music school, when I'm already missing TWO for this damn production, and come in RIGHT AFTER MY SATs for a MOTHER FUCKING SET BUILD.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

scandalboy's picture

Umm, inappropriate is you

Umm, inappropriate is you telling me that you're bi after you got dumped by your fiance, so don't fucking throw that in my face.

bulldyke's picture

please stop talking about

please stop talking about your sex life WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND IN THE ROOM! i don't mind it so much after he leaves, when you need to talk. i can get past my natural disinclination (and no, i don't care that that's not a word) to not want to think about straight sex, and listen, but NOT WHEN HE'S IN THE ROOM!!!

and also to wolf

when are you going to realise that you're not in love with him...you're just in love with the idea of being in love?

and...

i'll catch you when you fall

and

oh my god, you look like a girl! (to a male friend who sorta teeters on the brink of gender, and is rather confused about his sexuality)

and

no, i'm not a girl. not the way you are, or the way your friends are. I'M NOT A GIRL. and no, i'm not a guy either! i'm something else, and if you have a problem with that, get over it. or at least, stop trying to change me!

Bulldyke
"I've never written a love song, that didn't end in tears." ~P!nk

FalconWright's picture

Ummmmm....

"Hey can I borrow something sharp?"
"Fuck me. HARD."
"I'm naked, I JUST woke up, so get the FUCK OUT OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!"
Ummmm......
"SHUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUPPPP!!!!!"
And others I can't put here for security reasons.

gaynow's picture

Hehe. You're sexy. That felt

Hehe. You're sexy. That felt good. Talk about physical manipulation, neh?

I'd start bitching about past friend-crushes, but I don't want you to think that I'm crushing on you, 'cause I'm not, I just think you're really really hot.

Hey so um, you're really talented and adorable. Let's go out or somethin'.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader