The Perils of being in love with a straight girl

clarice123's picture

This was pretty much a mistake.
Falling in love with you, that is.
Falling in love...
that's not quite right,
more like "drowning in love."

Somedays I'm amazed by myself. I've loved you for so long... and I just let you fuel it. By not telling you, I allow myself to have hope. I'm a coward for not telling you. But at the same time, I give up so much once I leave the land of platonic love. Risking our friendship for something more is almost worth it. I see the glimmer in your eyes when you look at me. I've caught you staring at me. Not to mention the countless almost-kisses.

So, what I want to know is:
what is a semi-closeted lesbian to do?

Comments

sun_also_rises's picture

god i know exactly what your

god i know exactly what your feeling and its horrible. But I really don't know what to tell you. I've fallen for a straight girl twice, the first time it was a close friend of mine who I never told but it actually was a good thing because it made me confront my sexuality. And the second time, I did come out to her and nothing happened. Its actually really freeing when you come out because that little hope, that they might be gay, gets so frustrating and depressing after awhile. Even though its a bit sad at least you know their straight and you can start to get over them.

clarice123's picture

yes that's exactly

yes that's exactly it!

falling in love with her has really helped me figure out my sexuality, but at the same time it's so... crushing, and demeaning and awful. and she's one of my best friends and I keep trying to tell her subtly, you know, little things. but it doens't work. the onyl way she's ever going to know is if I spell it out for her. and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. but, it has been well over a year since I started to feel this way for her.

thank you so so so much. your comment really helped.

underage_thinker's picture

I should have written

I should have written this....
Wow.
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I find you quite amusing, and I’m sure you love me too, But sadly I am Lesbian, Though I’ll pretend for you
-M.A.A.

Fiona Rosge's picture

did and done the exact same

did and done the exact same thing, and i told her, she ended up getting all confused and not noing what to do about she kept saying "i dont no, i dont no if it will work but i mean maybe we could try" when really she was terrified by the idea and didnt no how to tell me. i thought it ment somthing cuz she kept saying how maybe it could work when really she never wanted to try. but it could be different for you. oh and btw im still friends with the girl so it all worked out.
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Come Josephine in my flying machine
Going up she goes up she goes
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam
In the air she goes there she goes
Up, up, a little bit higher
Oh, my, the moon is on fire
Good-by