the rant of an angry Witch-to-be

Ricky-chan72's picture

Life is......meh.

I dunno, I just always feel alone and left out. Nobody bothers with me. I hardly have any friends as it is, and whenever I want to hang out, they're busy or don't want to, or they decide to hang out with their other friends and generally leave me out (knowingly or unknowingly, I dunno). Even my own family doesn't want to be bothered with me, my cousins (who aren't immediately related) all hang together and always leave me out, even though I always do shit for them.

And then there's school. I'm constantly being made fun of, for anything and everything, most recently for my conversion to Wicca. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut, yet I still continue to answer dumb questions which utilize no common sense whatsoever (i.e., 'do you wear a pointy hat?', 'do you worship Satan?'), and have to listen while others degrade something that has now become very precious to me (i.e., 'I think it's full of horseshit', 'You know that's not true, right?'). Then there are other things, like stupid kids making fun of me for the way I talk ('Dude, why can't he talk?', as if I'm a mute or something), my height, my weight. It's like there's a never ending list of things people can make fun of me for-- hell, some people make fun of me because I type in clear, coherent sentences online.

But you know what...I'm not going to stand for the bullshit anymore. If people can't take me as I am, then screw them. I'm not going to change for anyone. I'm just going to be myself... nobody else. Just the small, skinny, funny-sounding, bitchy, Witchcraft-practicing, loner faggot that I am. And if the people who call themselves my "friends" don't like it, fuck them. They were never my friends to begin with. And if those bigots at school don't like it either, fuck them too. I'm tired of being stepped on. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of being made fun of... I'm tired of not being allowed to be myself.

Well, in other things, I discovered another guy interested in Witchcraft at school, I was so shocked, because I have class with him, and I would have never expected this from him! I was talking about Wicca-related things during study hall, and he holds up a rune, and I'm like, do you know what that is, and he's like, yeah, do you? and I'm like yeah, it means prosperity or some such thing. And then I ask him how he knows all these runes, and he goes, I dabble. And I'm like, in just runes or Witchcraft, and he's like, both. And I was shocked (in a good way), because I would have never expected to find another person interested in this kind of stuff, so we spent the rest of the period talking about different things like divination and herbalism, it was funny.

Comments

Fiona Rosge's picture

Been there done that! My

Been there done that! My friend ditched me like urs did, no one understands me, the girl i thought i loved was in love with a 23 year old male and was homophobic, everyone made fun of be because of wicca, my cousin wasnt my friend anymore and didnt understand me being gay. Ur right it never ends. Listen, there is always going to be someone in live that will fine one thing or another to make fun of someone for. Hell these people that i thought were my friends made fun of me because my favorite band was everclear and liked to make me mad by calling it Everqueer. so not only is it rude about me being gay but that band that reminds me of my dad. People suck be who you are! Just take that from expeirence, stop trying to prove yourself to everyone, it doesnt work.
Good for you for finding that guy tho, ur lucky but be carefull when i 1st started out i found to pll who i thought were into wicca and they were crazy. One of them abused animals another needed to be in a mental instution. Have you seen The Craft?Well one of them acted like Nancy lets put it that way.
Good luck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?