ok.so yesterday was my birthday.i turned SEVENTEEN finally!:D:D:D
apart from turning 17 and growing older,nothing was really worth remembering about yesterday.
i went to HER house,in order to get things sorted out.but alas,who was i kidding?i guess i just had to face the hopelessness of the situation. silence hung over us like some dagger.neither of us sopke much...it was pointless.
but i dint let all that bother me and let me down.i went home quickly and had a blast with my family :)
later in the night,i saw her FaceBook status : *S is SICK of her*
as a confirmation that its ME she is talking about,i read her wall-to-wall with her boyfriend.he asked her "ur sick of her??:S" and she replies "yepp..i will tell u later"
I KNOW ITS ME SHE IS TALKING ABOUT.
so now she must be bitching about me to her stupid testesterone driven fuk-wit boyfriend.
its ok.because im bitching about her too.to my best friends(K and D)...who apparently are HER good friends too,its just that they are on my side in this case.
they are with me when i say that S is emotionally suffocating me.she makes me hate the fact that im hung up on her.she makes me hate myself.maybe this is HER WAY of making me get over her.but there must be other ways of dealing with this right?
maybe she should just tell me to fuck off.or just become my REALLY good friends all over again(highly impossible).
its either this or that.cant be both.i mean,i think she is suffering from some kind of spilt personality disorder.she flirts like crazy one day and then the other day,she complains to her boyfriend that she is SICK of me??!
so she thinks IM not sick of her?!well,guess what,im sick and tired of the drama she brings.im sick and tired of feeling the way i feel.im sick and tired of her unecassary ego problems hindering our relationship.im sick and tired of writing about her all the fucking time in my diary and this journal.im sick and tired of writing emo poems on her and the heartbreaks she caused.im sick and tired of looking at her and realising that i cant touch her the way i used to,because she isnt mine anymore.im sick and tired of my heartbreaking everytime i think/look at her.im sick and tired of feeling that im cheating myself when im actually feeling joyfull.
what i dont understand is that if im so sick and tired,why cant i just seem to LET GO??!!