Is it normal to be attracted to another family member?

PokemonGeek's picture

I am attracted to my dad's cousin's 27 year old son. Is this disturbing or is it just me? Please tel me. I'm confused.

jeff's picture


Not exactly sure what that makes you two. I don't think there's anything unusual about being attracted to distant relatives. I'd only worry if you started acting on it. :-)


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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milee13's picture

Well...I think that all

Well...I think that all depends, it's not technically illegal in most places, as far as I know....and from there I suppose it depends on the kind of relationship that the two of you have--it's a little creepy if he's like a brother to you or something.

And...well, I probably wouldn't act on it....

Cultural taboos are strange things.

Disney's picture

Hello, what's normalcy?!

Well, I don't think it's routine, but I also think there's loads and loads of things that people think that they never voice, or that never reach our ears. So perhaps there's millions of people who are desperately attracted to their family members and say nothing! It doesn't sound like a close close relation anyway, and definitely outside of the immediate family context.

I don't have anything against that, I haven't encountered anyone or heard of anyone in my entire province who has had a family relationship go on like that, but for that reason I'd second what milee put down about not acting on it, since it's probably even murkier waters to tread in.

Also, I'm guessing he's at least 9 years your senior? That may not be a huge gap, but if you're 15 or under then be safely assured that this is just a crush, and I'm willing to bet you're hung up on his APPEARANCE, and maybe some sarcasm or what his job description is. I'm sure if we all had scores of attractive relatives, we'd feel better about being attracted to one of them, because not only would it be easier, it might seem like less of a taboo since you mostly care about what they look like.

As a side note, there are old sayings/colloquialisms about liking the person like yourself/your mother/your father, and there are studies that prove that we seek some of our parents in our "mates". That can seem disturbing, but also reassuring, and realistically most of us do want someone that's like us, so if this relative of yours fits in that category, it might be even more of a crush because of that.

Also, if you're starved of attractive males that aren't 90% homophobic in your area, seeing one of em' out of the blue could = instant attraction, in your relative's case.

As another other side note, people in their 20's look yummy for the most part, so keep that in mind since they're at a peak in their lives, tend to have a lot of freedom thrown on and live with liberty, and if you're sexually active, well you'll probably BE a bit more sexually appealing. So 27 cousin that looks good, has family traits and doesn't seem homophobic or may actually be really attractive has crush written all over it.

You're Amazing.

Lol-taire's picture

Oh my god, puke your guts

Oh my god, puke your guts out from the title.

But that's what, a second cousin once removed? Something like that.

Yeah that's not really incest in my books.
I wouldn't see why you couldn't act on it. It's sufficiently non-incesty (unless, like milee13 says you'd been brought up to see him like a brother). It's definately not illegal.

But, then I know quite a few people whose parents are first cousins. And they're mostly all ok. Even if my cousins are disgusting and just no no no.
One of my good friends used to fancy her cousin in Poland. Admittedly we thought that was pretty weird, but she didn't find it strange at all. Keeping it in the family. Bluegh blech blech.

jeff's picture

Of course...

If it's same-sex, it's not like you're kids would be retarded or anything... :-)


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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milee13's picture

Great, now I'm thinking

Great, now I'm thinking about the weird all female conception science...thanks, thanks a lot....

And you have an excellent point with that.

5thstory's picture

dad's cousin's son. That's

dad's cousin's son. That's far away....

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

scandalboy's picture

well, i met my mum's

well, i met my mum's cousin's son the other night, and found him to be quite an attractive man, mid to late 20s, early 30s... so yeah, i don't think there's anything wrong with it, per se. you can't help but notice physically attractive people, whoever they are.

Naimah's picture

basically I agree with

basically I agree with everyone else. lol. in all seriousness, I find my mom's cousin's son attractive too. but, anything beyond that is a little cweepy


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PokemonGeek's picture

I can't have him anyway... I

I can't have him anyway... I just found out he has a girlfriend....

Poor is the man
Whose pleasures depend
On the permission of another
Love me, that's right, love me
I wanna be your baby
Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love
Hoping, praying
For you to justify my love
I'm open and ready

the mouse that roared's picture


Truth be told, I've had mini crushes on my cousins before. They're all pretty cool people. Wasn't planning on acting on it, though, and I think it's partially because I was very lonely, and one particular cousin broke through that.

No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless; there is too much work to do.--Dorothy Day